Friday the 13th is thought by some to be unlucky. Whether or not you think the following to be unlucky, Friday, March 13th past and present have marked key turning points in my life where what I was standing on fell out from under me.
I was supposed to write about this months ago, but what better time to write it than now ? It was five years ago today that I received the news Coinapult wouldn't be continuing. The evening prior they'd asked Silbert and Lenihan for a Series A on top of the seed funding they'd put in and were denied. I wasn't at the table and I don't have beyond hearsay and suspicions why it happened. I do know that while the company was struggling for months, things appeared to be turning the corner. I didn't give up that weekend ; there were talks with other potential investors in motion. Those talks went silent on the 17th (i). I likewise have suspicions about the compromise, perhaps I'll go into the noted suspicions later.
It slapped me pretty hard, but I kept breathing and moving forward in search of my feet. While Jacob and I had known each other for about a year, it wasn't until after Coinapult (ii) collapsed to be sold in distress that he and I started forming our friendship that later turned to business. Without Coinapult going down, it not guaranteed we'd have neither the friendship, nor the business.
I was slapped again Wednesday evening of this week with the Closure of TMSR. While I'm much stronger and have much greater support to handle this slap, I don't have the words to describe how much more it stings. It's unquestionable and immeasurable how much greater TMSR was compared to that stack of BVI papers, pile of duct tape and paper clip code and boyish group of gringos. It stings most because I know I should've done better.
While I've wept, I'm not going to be sad, or panic or hold regrets or run away. It is what it is and all I see worth doing now I doubling down on my learning and communication and using it to kill the poisonous stupidity I swallowed as a child and which I've not yet fully purged from my system. I don't know where that will take me, but if I die trying I surely won't have regrets.