Category Archives: Shitware

Intel AMT Backdoor Keys Updated After Initial Trigger Discovered By Wrong Attackers

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The AMT backdoor, an enduring vulnerability in Intel's CPU platforms introduced with the Nehalem series a decade ago is currently being revised, as the criminal organisation known as "the united states government" has discovered that unaligned criminal groups have acquired the means to exploit its current form.

The situation is reminiscent of the USB "bug" in Microsoft Windows on which Stuxnet depended to propagate, where successive generations of patches merely modulated the sequence of events necessary to trigger the exploit without actually closing the underlying hole.

The AMT backdoor is triggered by sending a magic packet to the Intel "Management Engine". There is no way to meaningfully deactivate the hole in any infested machines, which is to say anything containing an Intel processor. Whitelist-only networking may help contain the vulnerability, provided of course that it's not implemented on Cisco equipment.

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend(TM)(R): Antbleed, The Persistence of Winklevii, etc

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Bitcoin mining hardware manufacturer Bitmain came under fire this week when it was revealed their firmware contained code that could remotely shut down customers mining equipment. The affected miners check in to a central server at a random interval (between 1- 11 minutes) and transmits the miner serial number, MAC address and IP address. The Antbleed site stated that “Even without Bitmain being malicious, the API is unauthenticated and would allow any MITM, DNS or domain hijack to shutdown Antminers globally.” This is the second scandal to affect Bitmain in recent weeks since Greg Maxwell revealed the company had been using "ASICboost" to give themselves an unfair mining advantage of up to 20% over their customers.

The United States Security and Exchange Commission granted the Winklevii another review of their Bitcoin ETF, which was denied during it's first review.

Police in Mumbai arrested 18 individuals involved in the MLM altcorn Onecoin, and seized four bank accounts totaling $2.6 million USD.

Juan Benet (WOT: nonperson) announced he is working on vaporware called "Interplanetary File System" or IPFS which he hopes will allow users of such flaming-tires-in-shitpits as Ethereum and Zcash to access their scamcoins from one convenient location. (archived)

Purdue University Bails Out Bezos Bezzle Bungle

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Purdue University has acquired the liabilities associated with Kaplan University's online credential issuing programs by paying a single dollar1 to Jeff Bezos' Graham Holdings.2 Purdue is a degree mill sponsored by the government of Indiana and headed by former Indiana governor Mitch Daniels. Information on any personal considerations given to agents allegedly acting on behalf of Purdue University in order to relieve Jeff Bezos balance sheet of this toxic asset while further paying for the fucking is unavailable at this time.

  1. too many  ↩

  2. Formerly known as the Washington Post company  ↩

Elon Musk Presents Tesla Motors Presents: Parking Brake Recall

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Tesla Motors, an Elon Musk Production presents a recall of Model X minivans and Model S sedans over a parking brake manufacturing flaw which may lead the parking brake to fail to disengage. When this manufacturing flaw is realized the affected vehicle's parking brake engages and due to mechanical failures can not be disengaged without repairing broken components. As Tesla abandoned implementing parking pawls in their automatic transmissions following misadventures with the widely adopted technology in initial Roadster model, Tesla vehicles have relied on the parking brake alone to secure them in a stationary position.

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend (TM)(R): Monero Ring Solution, Coinbase Presents GDAX Has Goxlike Phenomenon, And Another Hoaxtoshi

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A site surfaced recently known as "Monero Link" and claims to be able to uncover the precious ring signatures that have made Monero the darling of reddit privacy tards and users of darknet markets.

The Coinbase fiat interface GDAX suffered a bug on Sunday that sent Bitcoin prices plummeting down to $0.06 BTC/USD1 following "schedule maintenance". Brian Armstrong and the other Coinbase cryptcurrency expertsexchange did not wait to reopen market executions that allows orders to populate adequately, though margin trading companies said it "mattered little" because Coinbase is such a small player in the game.

Porsche, having already ruined transmissions with it's Tiptronic offerings, seeks to do the same with Bitcoin as it tries to entice developers and startup companies to provide "blockchain solutions" for the company.

A new, improved Hoaxtoshi has surfaced in Bali, and is meeting "community members" in his hotel and answering questions on Quora.com as the anonymous Bitcon founder. This Hoaxtoshi told bitcoin.com he was unable to sign either an early Bitcoin transaction or a statement with his original GPG key because “A sequence of events unfolded in 2010 that caused me the loss of all my keys.” He further claims only 2 copies of his Bitcoin private keys existed; one in an encrypted notepad document and the other was stored in his original GMX email account. "Mr. Nakamoto" conveniently is unable to access either source and alleges losing the data was what led to him leaving the Bitcoin project suddenly.

  1. Just like on Gox  ↩

Twin Suicides Grip USian Psyche

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The suicides of Easter Manhunt subject and "social worker" Steve Stephens and Patriots handegger Aaron Hernandez are dominating today's news cycle in the Anglophone bantustan north of Mexico. The slaughtering social worker went an hero when he was cornered by police trying to get some McNuggets to satisfy his obeastial rather than murderous urges. The sportsballer went an hero in prison where he was sentenced for life due to allegations of killing two less famous men.

This is enforced national mourning is the fourth major item pushed by the Fake news media this year. This previous major fake news narratives were:

  1. Denial that Donald Trump is the elected President of the United States.
  2. Enthusiasm and legitimization of Donald Trump-Clinton as President of the United States after he embraced Hillary Rodham-Clinton's foreign policy agenda.
  3. Continued bloodlust from pro-Imperial fake news spammers encouraging war with Russia.

French Financial Regulatorast Fines Payment Service Provider Over Bitcoin Business

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On March 30th, the "Commission des sanctions" of the "Autorité de Contrôle Prudentiel et de Résolution" fined the Lemon Way Payments Services Provider for over 80,000 € on various charges, among which insufficient KYC and AML performance in relation with a French Bitcoin/fiat interface.

This amount represents almost half the last published profits of the French PSP, led at the time by Mr Sébastien Burlet (WoT: nonperson).

These breach instances include mainly: failure to collect KYC paperwork for 34 customers, failure to report 9 customers to legal enforcement on suspicions of money laundering, and failure to further interrogate 20 customers, for which the declared wealth allegedly didn't match the transaction volumes.

The violations are mostly related to business in relation with an unnamed french Bitcoin/fiat interface. The ACPR aptly reminding the public that Bitcoin carries a high-risk of people actually exercising their basic human right to financial privacy.

US Department of "Justice" Absconding With Botnet In Spanish Arrest

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Fresh on the heels of an arresting alleged hacker Peter Levashov in Spain, the Department of Justice announced plans to disable a botnet – known as Kelihos – they claim was under his control and used to send spam emails and infect systems with ransomware. Acting assistant attorney-general Kenneth Blanco said the operation will "redirect Kelihos-infected computers to a substitute server", in order to block communications between infected devices and the botnet server, instead redirecting the compromised machines to the DOJ's own botnet servers. Levashov reportedly had been operating the botnet since 2010, and targeted computers running all variants of Microsoft Windows, the preferred target OS of botnet harvesters worldwide. The Department of Justice statement concluded by stating that "The US government will share samples of the malware with antivirus vendors in facilitate updates to their programs which will allow them to detect and remove Kelihos" while leaving government backdoors firmly in place.

Altcointradingbot.io Is Very Sorry For Your Loss

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Shitcoin traders using the altcoinbot.io system were reporting a series of losses this morning due to a "security flaw" that sold all their Bitcoin and other altcorn for obscure cryptocurrency Rubycoin (RBY). The bitcointalk announcement for the bot, naturally posted by a unknown newbie member with no credentials, bills itself as needing no human intervention and is designed for users "seeking for 20-50-200% profit per trade". The bot only trades using the Baloney exchange API, and the only response from the developer on tardstalk being a cryptic "WARNING! Please disable your API key ASAP! Site might have a security issue! Thanks!" At the time of this article, the altcoinbot.io site was down showing only a cloudflare "Web Server is Down" message and no information was available as to the total amount of Sorry for Your Loss that has occurred due to running untested software by persons not in the Web of Trust.

Hussein Bahamas Advisor Susan Rice Fingered As Surveillance To Political Operatives Conduit

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Numerous sources are fingering Hussein Bahamas advisor Susan Rice as the conduit who carried so called "incidentally collected" surveillance on US President Trump and his associates to the rest of Hussein Bahamas political operatives. Jeff Bezos run fake news outlets under the "Washington Post" label are predictably running pieces alleging that not only did Susan Rice not do such a thing, but she should have because it would be "Right, Good, and Proper"(TM)(R).1

  1. The same outlets have run a piece of speculative fiction supposing an American "Reichstag Fire" which would subvert the "rule of law" pretense. Unfortunately the piece was published 5684 days after September 11, 2001.  ↩