Category Archives: News

Mid Sized Mining Pool Hops On Latest Effort To Fork Altcoin Off Of Bitcoin

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The relatively new mid-sized mining pool ViaBTC (WOT:nonpeople) recently announced it is mining blocks expressing support for the latest effort to fork an altcoin away from actual Bitcoin. ViaBTC throughout its short history has climbed to represent ~10 percent of the Bitcoin network's hashrate. The only other pool to announce any form of support for this latest social engineering assault on Bitcoin was Roger Ver's (WOT:nonperson) own pool which languishes at ~1 percent of the network's hash rate in spite of paying miners ~6 percent more than they should be making for mining with that pool.

The plainly counter economic activity in support of this latest social engineering attempt suggests that the United States government and its other criminal agents of fiat are still sinking ever more precious resources into their attempts to cripple Bitcoin. The arrogance of this move also suggests Blockstream, the other camp of social engineers seeking to pervert Bitcoin, is likely to begin spearheading a substantial push for something soon.

2013's future of Bitcoin regulation is the present, Republican, reality of Bitcoin regulation. The unforgiving march of time is eroding the few remaining refuges of the delusionist profession which is likely to result in increasingly desperate efforts1 to combat the march of inevitability.

  1. Leading this is the failure of the "Ethereum" gambit where a competitor to Bitcoin was supposed which included numerous features that in reality serve as little more than vectors for attack.  ↩

Fractured GOP Experiences Coup Attempt

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Various members of the old guard of the GOP, a minor socialist party in the United States, are in the midst of a coup to replace their party's nominee Donald Trump-Clinton with his vice presidential candidate Mike Pence. This coup is receiving substantial assistance from the mainstream media in that country including outlets which function as organs of that country's major socialist party.

Fuelling this coup was a vice presidential debate which was scored as a unanimous victory for Mike Pence, and the coup is substantially assisted by the release of an 11 year old entertainment media interview where Trump-Clinton bragged in a somewhat coarse manner about picking up women. The interview was never previously broadcast, and at the same time the interview leaked excerpts of speeches where Hillary Rodham-Clinton called for open borders and a single hemispheric "free trade zone" were leaked to little fanfare.

America should have voted for America when it still had the chance. Personalities over policies, it's the American way.

Update: The Washington Post's online magazine is already declaring victory in their openly declared war to keep Donald Trump-Clinton from spoiling Hillary Rodham-Clinton's turn in the Ova[sic] Office.

NSA Has A Booz Problem, A Special Roundup Xtend (TM)(R)

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This past week an alleged major leaker of NSA secrets has been arrested with terabytes of the stuff in his home and car. Like Edward Snowden, this information hoarder worked for NSA under contract from Booz Allen Hamilton. Rather than exploring alleged events, this Roundup Xtend (TM)(R) will explore the nature of NSA's Booz problem.

  1. NSA failed to admit zher powerlessness over Booz and that zher life had become unmanageable:

    As a fiat organization NSA faces many deep structural problems which make zher powerless over Booz. One is that far less people meet the fiat standards of NSA employment than there is makework that NSA has to have done according to standards from fiat. These competing fiat declarations mean people have to be brought in from outside to do all the work. Second the "favor" economy traditional in the fiat system means these competing demands will be sustained in order to create work for Booz as this fatal insanity continues to afflict zher.

  2. NSA failed to believe a higher power could restore zher to sanity:

    If NSA were aware of the insanity which followed the effective surrender of zher will and life over to Booz Allen Hamilton, perhaps zhe could begin to have the smallest inkling of faith that a power greater than zherself and Booz just might be able to turn zher onto a path towards sanity.

  3. NSA has yet to turn zher will and life over to God as NSA understands it:

    Sitting at the top of the United States' "intelligence" community the NSA played the director in zher own life. As the play went on under NSA's direction zhe became more demanding while still being increasingly gracious in zher relationship with Booz. As NSA continued trying to exercise zher will in this manner zhe suffered ever more Snowden and now suffers Harold T. Martin. As zhe intensifies zher efforts zhe receives only more Booz and more problems.

    Through surrendering zher will and life NSA can find a new freedom and a new happiness.

Peace in our time.

No Longer Sterling Pound Plunges 6.1 Percent Over Two Minutes

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The British pound, once but no longer sterling, fell 6.1 percent early this morning in Asian trading while the ever more lethargic and obese population of Airstrip One was sleeping. Some recovery in the exchange reported price occurred, but the fundamental value of Britain and its people continues to remain questionable.

Backpage CEO Criminally Arrested On Pimping Allegations

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State agents in Texas have arrested Carl Ferrer, CEO of backpage.com in a raid after allegations he might know other people could be using his website to engage in adult and child sex-trafficking. Mr Ferrer was arrested on a warrant out of the state of California at the airport in Houston, and warrants were also issued for the ad site’s controlling shareholders, Michael Lacey and James Larkin. The charges levied against Mr. Ferrer include felony charges of pimping a minor, pimping, and conspiracy to commit pimping, and he faces an extradition hearing before he can be returned to California to face the charges. Mr. Ferrer is facing these charges for running a website, not for actually running girls in the street. Sorry for your laws and your lues.

US Tax Department Busted By Indian Police

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Police in rural Thane, India have arrested over 500 people working in a call center, accusing them of scamming U.S. citizens in a fraud scheme. The callers allegedly would tell the victims they were with the "US Tax Department" and demanded financial and bank details, and threatened them with legal action if they refused to provide the details. The employees would then use the information to withdraw funds from the accounts, with officials estimating the scheme could make upwards of $160,000 USD a day. Police said the investigation was ongoing and further information was to be released soon, although no word was available as to whether any iTunes gift cards were recovered in the haul

Oasis Drained While Major Monero Webwallet Languishes Offline

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Altcoin Monero has suffered a blow in its push to become the dominant currency of darknet markets, with reddit users reporting that the owners of Oasis market have apparently pulled an exit scam, absconding with around 150 Bitcoin and a yet undetermined amount of Monero. Reports from reddit also indicate that users attempting to withdraw Monero from the Alpha Bay marketplace are meeting similar frustrations, though the site is still online. This news caps a very bad week for XMR, with the MyMonero web wallet service run by developer fluffypony (WoT:fluffypony) also being was offline for several days now, with users reporting silence from support channels and inability to withdraw funds, though private keys can still be recovered and imported into an actual wallet. These particular wallets have been target by hackers several times in the past few months, resulting in several millions of USD vanishing. At the time of the writing of this article, the sorry for your loss was at -17% and continued to plunge.

Kim Kardashian Bound, Gagged, and Robbed After Social Media Use

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Kim Kardashian was bound, gagged, and robbed during a home invasion of the Parisian hotel apartment she shares with Yeezus (archived). The heist has been described in the populist media as "well planned" an attribute likely assisted by Kardashian's prolific use of social media. Using social media Kardashian uploaded substantial photo and videographic information of the residence that was likely of tremendous value for the home invaders, 10 million1 United States dollars of informational value if the reports circulating in the popular press are to be believed. Sorry for your loss.

  1. My has the value of these things dropped.  ↩

After Recent Leak North Sea Lubricated To Spec Per BP's Assessment

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A BP oil platform located in the North Sea experienced Sorry For Your Loss on Sunday by leaking 95 tons of oil following a technical issue. The spill is being monitored by air and the company "believes that allowing the oil to disperse naturally at sea is the best way to deal with the spill, although other options have not been ruled out." The release was contained within approximately an hour of it occurring though officials said the platform, located about 46 miles off the coast of Shetland, is still offline. Scottish officials with the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds are said to be investigating what impact the accident would have on wildlife in and around the Atlantic. The spill is said to be around two times smaller than another similar spill that occurred on Shell’s Gannet platform in 2011.

Ethereum "Come At Me Bro" Patch Attacked As Invitation Is Taken

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Less than 24 hours after Ethereum developers boldly announced their come at me bro fix for the geth client, an attacker decided to come at them with yet another previously undiscovered attack vector. Pope Vitalik himself announced on reddit:

Basically, it's a quadratic attack where the culprit this time is a series of SUICIDE calls followed by a DELEGATECALL tower. SUICIDE creates dirty objects much more cheaply than any other opcode, and this creates a memory blowup. We have identified two possible fix strategies and are starting work on implementing them.

Ether huffers were quick to praise the efforts of their dear leader, while other users were quick to offer tips on setting up nodes on the parity platform. Parity is written in rust which has yet to be tested extensively, attackers having too many lulz watching the rats scramble scramble to plug holes on that sinking ship.