Category Archives: News

Nitrocellulose Recategorized As High Explosive In US Through Quiet Physics Defying Ruling

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The United States government quietly reclassified nitrocellulose, a humble plastic with deflagrating1 explosive properties under certain conditions, as a high explosive (archived). For one hundred and fifty-four years nitrocellulose plastic has safely been used in the production of common household objects including guitar picks and table tennis balls.

The safe, deflagrating failure mode of nitrocellulose also makes it the ideal propellant for ammunition and uniquely useful as flash paper in the magician's trade. As a deflagrating "low explosive" the explosive failure moves as a flame front through nitrocellulose at a speed far below that of sound. By contrast in actual "high explosive" material instead of a slow moving flame front explosive failure occurs with detonation and a shock wave that moves faster than the speed of sound.

Due to the greater hazard and handling requirements associated this reclassification effectively amount to a ban on small arms ammunition though US government Blackshirts insist they will not be enforcing this ban at the present. Coverage of this, even in specialist media, is complicated by noise produced by ongoing masturbatory lobbying over the implications of this change for wetted, non-explosive nitrocellulose rendered safe for bulk transport. Before being used in viable ammunition wetted nitrocellulose must first be dried rendering the masturbatory noise moot for end users.

Him in our time.

  1. Commonly referred to as "low explosive"  ↩

Dyn DNS Suffers Packet Inflation, Many Other "Services" Affected

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Dyn DNS is reporting a large-scale DDoS attack on it's servers this morning, which has caused sporadic interruptions of service for users, mainly on the East Coast of the US. Github, Twitter, and Reddit all use the service as their upstream DNS provider and have reported many outages and total downtime lasting hours. DynDNS president released a statement saying:

This morning, October 21, Dyn received a global DDoS attack on our Managed DNS infrastructure in the east coast of the United States. DNS traffic resolved from east coast name server locations are experiencing a service degradation or intermittent interruption during this time. Updates will be posted as information becomes available.

Upon recognition, active mitigation protocols were initiated and have been working to resolve the issues.

Customers with questions or concerns are encouraged to check our status page for updates and reach out to our Technical Support Team.

No information was available as to whom might be behind the attack, leading to speculation that it may have been launched to protest the recent arrest of an aspect of Peace on Earth earlier this week.

Probable Aspect Of Peace On Earth Arrested While The Notorious Quiet And Tranquility Evades Capture

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Reports are emerging that an arrest has been made in the 2012 liberation of passwords from LinkedIn. Police and representatives from LinkedIn allege that Yevgeniy Nikulin is a aspect of the transcendental state commonly referred to as "Peace" acting as an instrument of that notorious quiet and tranquillity on Earth. Nikulin was arrested at a hotel in Prague though law enforcement declined to publicise the arrest until this week, likely in order to harass and entrap other information freedom advocates in communion with Peace.

In recent years Peace appears have been losing interest in Earth and humanity at an accelerating rate as evidenced by escalating violence in places as geographically disparate as Chicago, Nineveh, and James Lafond Presents Baltimore. In fact the alleged aspect of Peace on Earth collapsed after being handcuffed and required hospitalization which suggests that this police aggression caused the vitality of Peace to leave his body.

Peace can not surrender to man. Man must surrender to Him. His will and life, not yours.

2016 Chicago More Violent Than 2015 Chicago By 1000 Shootings So Far

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The year to date number of shootings in Chicago1 has exceeded last year's number at this time by a full thousand. Chicago achieved this increase in shootings without any documented clashes between Pershmerga and ISIS fighters in city limits though the reliability of the local press is lacking. The news would be bearish peace futures, if they were traded at the Chicago Mercantile exchange.

  1. Also known as Chiraq and Chicagabad due to violence comparable to more publicized war zones.  ↩

The Sacred Dies In India

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24 cattle died, and 20 more reported injured during a stampede that occurred at an Indian religious festival. Police of Uttar Pradesh said they only expected 3,000 cult members, however 70,000 showed up and started rumors along a packed bridge that led to the disaster. Taking a page from the Bitfinex playbook, the Indian Prime Minister is offering families of the dead 200`000 rupees as SFYL compensation. October has seen an increase in lulz featuring India on the pages of Qntra, with highlights being a telemarketing scam being busted and Preet Bharara's latest antics showing a trend in this behavior for the immediate future.

Brit Faces Extradition For Trading On US Markets

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Preet, the physical manifestation of evil in our timesA British man faces extradition for trading securities on markets in the United States. "Authorities"1 accuse the man of placing orders in a manner that lead other traders to panic which was followed by a "flash crash" in the markets in which the man was trading. The man faces criminal charges in the United States despite the clear fact that the panic came from defects of character inherent in the other traders. They further allege his cancelling and changing orders amounted to "spoofing" though every man is rightly entitled to change his position based upon the best information available at the time, and time is always moving.

As the saying goes, "If you spot it, you got it." These so called authorities in the United States are clearly in the grips of fear that their beloved fiat fiction and its inherent fragility are the product of their own spoofing. Sorry for your loss.

  1. This is a code word for Preet Bharara.  ↩

ViaBTC Hash Power Halves After Joining Roger VERification Effort

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Following ViaBTC's announcement that they would be supporting the latest effort to fork an altcoin off of Bitcoin their hashpower has dropped by one half and is likely to drop further. The drop in hash rate appears to be due to miner defections. Since "Bitcoin Unlimited"1 became the favored effort pushed by social engineers like Roger Ver, it has been met with an even colder reception than previous forking efforts including Bitcoin XT and ClassicCoin, with the exception of ViaBTC's warm embrace.

ViaBTC is just the latest in a long line of pools to suffer after choosing their vision for the future poorly. Twenty two months after the publication of "The hard fork missile crisis" every aspiring hard fork away from Bitcoin has managed to defeat itself well before the solutions covered in that piece were required though they still abide.

Sorry fork, your loss!

  1. aka Unlimited Spam Coin  ↩

Huffers At Ether.Camp Baking Next "Smart Contract For Your Loss"

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Ether huffers are already working on their next large scale Sorry For Your Loss with a new type of "smart contract" that some are already calling "The DAO 2.0". The contract, dubbed "Hacker Gold" is sure to live up to it's name for would-be attackers, as some eagle-eyed users have already attempted to compile the code and found that it wouldn't. The creators at ether.camp responded that the code on github "isn't the final version". The creators are hoping to raise 50 million US dollars in funds through an ICO and have reportedly been using sock-puppet accounts on reddit to manipulate threads in r/startups and others, in an attempt to generate buzz. The ether.camp team has been mostly silent on the criticisms, apparently betting on the fact that if the initiative fails they can simply hard fork the coin and get everyone's money back like last time.

Bitcoin Network Mining Difficulty Up 7.17% In Latest Adjustment

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The Bitcoin network mining difficulty has risen to 258,522,748,404.5154 which is  7.17% higher than the previous value of 241,227,200,229.991 in this sixth increase, the seventh adjustment following the second halving. The 500-block window estimate of hashrate did rise above the two exahash mark during this period, although the ultimately resulting adjustment only corresponds to a mere 1.82 EH/s.