Today corn futures fell as the United States corn crop appears in good condition for this point in the year, though La Nina's effects are beginning to be felt with lower than normal humidity levels in much of the lower Middle West greatly reducing the amount of heat driven storms and precipitation typical of the region's summers. Further reason for United States corn growers to panic is a solid winter corn crop out of Brazil. A visual survey of farm fields in the lower Middle West also raises concerns about this year's soybean crop as many fields that aren't growing corn lay fallow with the untilled remains of the winter wheat crop still visible. The US agricultural sector's pain is likely to continue spilling over into related industries with heavy equipment manufacturers continuing to be particularly affected. A glut of stored grain and increasing foreign imports will likely allow the United States to continue its love affair with Obeastiality for some time into the future. Sorry for your loss.
Author Archives: Aaron 'BingoBoingo' Rogier
Bitfinex Fucks Up
Something happened at Bitfinex, Bitfinex users are unhappy, and history continues to rhyme. Sorry for your loss.
Network Difficulty Up 6.83% As Halving Looms
The Bitcoin network mining difficulty moved up nearly seven percent from 196,061,423,939.64996338 to 209,453,158,595.38098145 crossing two hundred billion and setting yet another all time high. Since we last checked in on prices reported by fiat/Bitcoin interfaces, it now requires another 200 more dollars to acquire a single Bitcoin. The long awaited end of the cheap Bitcoin appears to be nearing. Cheap ether however remains available at your local automotive parts store, look for cans labelled "starting fluid" though Qntra recommends against huffing the sweet vitriol. Sorry for your loss.
China Solidifies Presence In Airstrip Two's Media
News is emerging that media organs associated with the Chinese government have negotiated a deal which will allow them to place stories in media outlets serving Airstrip Two1. This deal allows media outlets in Airstrip Two to continue pretending to exist in a state other than penury while organs of the Chinese state get placement and editorial control over these stories. This move is in concordance with Airstrip Two's move away from Airstrip One and into alignment with China. Peace in our time.
Formerly Known as Australia ↩
Hoaxtoshi Update: Journalist Swindled Into Writing A #Longread
The Hoaxtoshi Craig Steven Wright (WOT:nonperson) having broken a promise to offer cryptographic proof of Satoshi just unveiled his latest attempt to con people into believing revealed. The Hoaxtoshi collaborated with Andrew O'Hagan (WOT:nonperson), an alleged journalist, into having a #longread produced where over 35,000 words O'Hagan demonstrates the ways in which intimately spending six months with a con artist tends to lead to being conned. The Hoaxtoshi has yet to offer cryptographic proof of Satoshi. Instead it appears he will continue sweet talking isolated people into believing. This modus operandi is the same as when that younger man convinced your Grandma to trade six months of not being alone for everything. Accept no substitute.
California City Burns Through 3 Police Chiefs In 8 Days
In an astounding human resources decision the city of Oakland, California has burned through three police chiefs in eight days. The first Chief Sean Whent (WOT:nonperson) resigned on June 9th. The second, Ben Fairow (WOT:nonperson), was appointed chief on an interim basis before being removed by the mayor for some alleged connection to a scandal. Fairow was succeed on Wednesday by the newly acting police chief Paul Figueroa (WOT:nonperson) who resigned Friday requesting a smaller paycheck in order to not have to be the police chief of Oakland. City Administrator Sabrina Landreth (WOT:nonperson) is now stuck with playing police chief on top of her previous responsibilities. Sorry for your loss.
Quebec Political Party Quietly Invited All Possible Observers To Internal Discussions
The Quebec "Liberal" party left web accessible cameras in the office configured with the default password inviting all comers to observe all manner of discussions at their headquarters. Who needs security of confidentiality? Information wants to be free.
You Aren't Ready For Smart Contracts
Chances are the contracts are smarter than you. Please take your face out of that paper bag full of sweet vitriol, and admit that you have a problem and your life has become unmanageable.
In Piece About Journalists Getting Definitions Wrong WaPo Gets Definition Wrong
A piece in the Washington Post's online magazine Slate attempted to take other propaganda organs to task in an effort to unify their message as they exploit Orlando to advance their socialism. Unfortunately they got a definition wrong. The error:
An assault weapon is a semi-automatic gun that can accept detachable magazines and has a pistol grip and foldable stock (to increase the gun’s length).
A firearm with those qualities is actually properly referred to as a Modern Sporting Rifle per the National Shooting Sports Foundation. In propaganda land the civilian legal semiautomatic long guns are ominously referred to as assault weapons, a label that properly refers to battlefield instruments including seige engines and trebuchets. Meanwhile the fully automatic and selective fire inspirations for these modern sporting files get to hold the comparatively respectable title of assault rifle. Apparently if the criminal gang in Washington, DC gets to wield the firearm, it gets dignified as a rifle, but sporting instruments available to civilians get demeaned as mere weapons. Peace in our time.
Facebook Exec: "it will be probably all video" In 5 Years
Facebook executive Nicola Mendelsohn (WOT:nonperson) is predicting the end of text on their platform within 5 years. Mendelsohn insists the shift is "user driven", but Facebook itself seems to have a substantial role in this shift by responding to declining usership with changes favored by illiterate users. Mendelsohn tries to dress this up by supposing video is somehow a faster medium for receiving information than text, an assertion that only holds when the party trying to receive information lacks the set of skills commonly referred to as basic literacy. Sorry for your loss.