A bomb exploded in a trash can near a United States Marine Corps charity race, and several hours later another bomb apparently exploded in the Manhattan neighborhood of Chelsea. No injuries were reported during the New Jersey explosion, and 29 injuries were reported in the Manhattan explosion. No further information is available at the moment. Peace in our time.
Author Archives: Aaron 'BingoBoingo' Rogier
Japanese Virginity Reaches Crisis Levels
The Japan Times reports that nearly half of unmarried adult Japanese men and women are virgins. Decades of social "reforms" have left the Japanese population docile to the point sex outside a marital contract rarely happens, and Japan's low birthrate suggests that even marital contracts to little to promote sex among those residents of Japan who managed to lose their virginity.
A similar though less developed trend of sexlessness is beginning to emerge in the young adult population in the United States, though rampant transmayogenderism complicates comparisons by as many young Americans can be visually identified as sexually defective from a distance. Japan's increase in obesity lags their growing sexlessness while American sexlessness lags their increasing obesity. The failure of the fundamental biological drive to "make baby" suggest deep defects at the societal and personal level in both cases.
Peace (by attrition) in our time.
Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 6 (TM)(R)
Welcome to the sixth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are probably innocent of newsworthiness.
- A mentally ill teenager from Godfrey Illinois, Keaun Cook, faces terrorism related charges in his local criminal court. The teenager was indicted in spite of a search of his home failing to find any weapons or hazardous materials as well as nearly a year of his life already spent in confinement at "mental health" facilities. His only prior criminal conviction was for misdemeanor "damage to property" after allegedly scratching a pickup truck with a rock.In 2011 a college student, Olutosin Oduwole, was convicted of similar terrorism charges in the same local criminal court after a set of song lyrics were discovered in his locked vehicle when his vehicle was towed by his university's parking stasi in 2007. That particular conviction was overturned in an outright reversal by an appellate court in May 2013 after the prosecution victim had already lost more than six years of his life to the ordeal.
- In an op ed piece for the New York Times Richard Lumb advanced the position that intervention is required to "correct" the unfolding of actual historical events.
- The United States Air Force has grounded its flavor F-35 Join Strike Fighter due to crumbling insulation. The boondoggle continues.
- Trend pieces emerged this week documenting a new strategy American cities are using to fight rats (archived). Municipal government employees are putting chunks of solid carbon dioxide into rat burrows where the material kills the rats as it vaporizes and is then released into the atmosphere. Urban politicians and mainstream media outlets have spent years heralding the atmospheric release of carbon dioxide as the greatest threat to civilization.
- Aspiring New York based Bitcoin exchange Itbit, after failing to become a Bitcoin exchange trading any serious volume, has decided to shift to bespoke software development and change their name to Paxos as they rebrand to shift into a completely different kind of industry.
- A interesting case study in how for USians their everything is useless and harmful was discovered (archived).
Alibaba Clamps Down On Internal Theft
Alibaba, a Chinese online retailer that serves as the supply chain for numerous small and medium "businesses", has recently clamped down on internal theft following a holiday related hacking incident (archived). To celebrate the mid Autumn festival the firm awarded each of its employees a moon cake while allowing employees to purchase additional moon cakes. Four different software engineers were discovered directing to themselves a total of 496 ill gotten moon cakes in what are reported to be separate incidents. The employment of the thieves was terminated. Sorry for your loss.
"Autopilot" Provider Dumps Elon Musk, Tesla
Mobileye, the Israeli firm which developed the "autopilot" feature for Tesla Motors has dumped Elon Musk's (WOT:nonperson) Tesla as a customer. Mobileye is publicly breaking ties over concerns that Tesla is reselling and marketing Mobileye's product in an unsafe manner. Continuing their relationship with Tesla threatens to introduce substantial liability through Tesla's abuse of their product.
Elon Musk's other major venture SpaceX recently destroyed a telecommunications satellite made by an Israeli firm for Mark Zuckerberg's (WOT:nonperson) data collection firm. Musk's rocket exploded on the launch pad resulting in the loss of the satellite. The circle of persons and businesses willing to conduct business with Elon Musk and his ventures appears to be shrinking.
Sorry for your loss.
btcXchange.ro To Shutdown Again
After apparently reopening to a lack of fanfare Horea Vuscan is shuttering his operation btcXchange.ro for the second time.
US Business Emigration Today! A Special Edition Bayer Roundup Xtend
A number of transactions and announcement occurred today documenting the flight of business activity from the United States.
- Monsanto finally surrendered their business to a bid from Bayer AG for 128 dollars per share in a cash transaction, pending regulatory approval. The purchase would merge the dominant agricultural seed producers firmly placing the future of United States agriculture in German hands. A present the two firms are independently the leading manufacturers of herbicide resistant crops. The number of persons too poor for trees1 is expected to climb.
- Ford Motor Company announced they are moving manufacturing operations for all of their small cars to Mexico.
- Surrogates for the major party candidates for the United States presidency continue clogging the mainstream press with arguments over which geriatric candidate is less decrepit in their old age as well as which candidate's non-profit "charitable" organization is less corrupt. Hilary Rodham Clinton remains on her third day of rest following this past weekend's health scare.
Also known as living in a state of povertree. ↩
Hillary Clinton's Twin Legs Buckle Where Twin Towers Fell
Candidate for the United States Presidency Hillary Rodham Clinton suffered a medical episode during a ceremony at the 9/11 Memorial in New York. Her legs buckled and she appeared to faint (archived). This incident is notable for receiving coverage in the mainstream US press which has thus far dismissed concerns about Hillary's health as crackpottery. She is sixty-eight years old and she will turn sixty-nine before the election. Her major election opponent Donald Trump-Clinton at seventy years of age is also geriatric. Of the candidates on the ballot in all 50 states, Gary Johnson is the only candidate who would finish a first term as president before his seventieth birthday. Peace in our time, Rest in theirs.
Update: Hillary was evacuated from the 9/11 memorial in Manhattan to her daughter Chelsea's apartment. Representatives of her campaign insist she merely "overheated" though in the United States heat related injuries are taken very seriously by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration and classified as reportable incidents subject to investigations, fines, and penalties. Clinton privilege strikes again.
Update 2: Now Hillary's doctor is alleging that she has been suffering pneumonia since Friday. Pneumonia is a leading cause of death in geriatrics.
Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 5 (TM)(R)
Welcome to the fifth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are innocent of newsworthiness.
- Under pressure, the number of United States dollars that fiat/Bitcoin interfaces report it takes to purchase a Bitcoin have climbed modestly from the range the stabilized t in the aftermath of the BitfinExodus.
- The above price movement lead to diminished discussion of altcoins with none in particular meriting any special mention.
- Oil futures moved up on news that stocks of West Texas Intermediate were less than expected.
- Giraffes suffered "species inflation" when the "Giraffe Conservation Foundation" began to allege that there are four distinct species of Giraffe. All four of the alleged species are capable of interbreeding.
- CoinTelegraph author Rebecca Campbell asked "If Bitcoin Had Sex, Could It Be Female?"
- Univision deleted six posts on their newly acquired Gawker media properties which are subject to pending litigation.
- General Motors issued a recall of 4.3 million vehicles from the 2014-2017 model years due to a software bug that prevents airbag deployment during collisions.
- Bitfinex has established it's BFX convertible debt token to be equivalent to one United States dollar of equity in the firm while valuing itself at 120 million United States dollars. This means that if all BFX notes were redeemed for equity existing management would still retain ~60 percent of the firm. At the time of this writing traders on Bitfinex value the BFX token at 0.5462 United States dollars, a figure that raises serious questions about Bitfinex's self valuation while still seeming absurdly high.
- This week at a dinner party for the United States National Policy Institute.
- Lords of the Most Serene Republic began a focused discussion on the future of communication.
- The unsuitability of Cisco networking equipment for computer networks is creating a whole new class of torts (archived).
Democratic People's Republic Of Best Korea Conducts Fifth Nuclear Test
Peace in our time.