Author Archives: Aaron 'BingoBoingo' Rogier

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 7

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Welcome to the seventh edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • Self identified "mental health counselors" are bullish on a Donald Trump-Clinton presidency due to an increase anxiety among self identified socialists.
  • Charlotte, North Carolina has been experiencing acute unrest after yet another police shooting initiated yet another media circus.
  • As enrollment contracts at the University of Missouri dorm style housing is replacing independent apartments for graduate students living on campus and a freeze has been placed on building permits for new private residential construction near the campus. This suggests the University is leaning heavily on reasserting in loco parentis to cope with its loss of Universitiquity.
  • Roger Ver opened a mining pool under his "Bitcoin.com" brand. This mining pool is potantially vulnerable to a distraction of service attack where other mining pools in addition to publishing valid Bitcoin blocks publish blocks invalid due to having a size between one and sixteen megabytes which Ver's pool will attempt to build off of due to their choice of aspiring altcoin network client.
  • Stormy weather continues on the Freenode IRC network.
  • The soybean harvest is beginning in earnest, your loss immanent.
  • "Scary Clown" sightings are all the rage as local police departments across North America issue press releases addressing the sightings.
  • Bayer announced that if their acquisition of Monsanto passes through regulatory approval into consumation, they have no particular desire to use the Monsanto name for anything.
  • A couple dutchmen were arrested for stealing electricity in order to grow marijuana plants and operate a mining farm which otherwise would have been sorely -EV.
  • A growing number of alleged patents supposed by fiat entities on technologies related to the blockchain continue making the possibility of fiat business impossible.
  • The first televised debates between the two aspects of Clinton seeking the United States presidency will happen Monday if Hillary Rodham-Clinton's health allows it.
  • Something, Something Brian Krebs.
  • The website known as Mark Zuckerberg (WOT:nonperson) presents Facebook issued an apology after advertisers discovered they were being served grossly inflated viewership statistics.
  • A cease fire negotiated among fiat governments concerning Syria began and ended this week.

Sorry for your loss.

Island Occupied By US Forces Experiences Major Blackout

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Puerto Rico, an unincorporated Caribbean island occupied by United States forces and administered by a puppet Pro-United States government, is experiencing a power outage affecting nearly the entire population of 3.4 million after a power plant fire triggered the near complete failure of the electricity distribution grid on the island. Sorry for your loss.

Peace Comes To Yahoo – Half A Billion Users Affected

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News emerged today that after two years of denial, deception, and coverup a 2014 breach that compromised half of a billion Yahoo users account credentials is now public knowledge. Already allegations are flying that the notorious harbinger of serenity and information freedom advocate Peace may be connected to the forced disclosure of this breach.

This news broke years after it happened, years after Yahoo and their CEO Marissa Mayer were aware it happened, but after the startup finally succeeded in its 22 year long mission to find a buyer in Verizon Communications.

Peace, the great absence of disturbance himself has been liberating the account information of numerous online properties without any consideration for their nominal country of origin. It is likely that various criminal gangs masquerading as "law enforcement" will intensify their search for peace to no avail for their path is wrong. Finding peace requires surrendering to him your life, your will, and your worries that a stranger will send your Yahoo Fantasy Sports baseball lineup into disarray. Peace must be accepted into the heart, not chased. Him in our time. His will and his passwords, not yours.

"Libertarian" New Hampshire Forces Altcoin Exchange Out

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The favored altcoin exchange of ether huffers, Poloniex has been forced to abandon its customers in New Hampshire. This follows alleged tightening in the regulatory environment fiat respecting organizations like Poloniex submit themselves to suffering. New Hampshire has been targeted by hippies posing as Libertarian activists to little actual effect. Sorry for your loss.

Random Idiot Accepts People's Time And Work, Idiot Turns Around And Sells It For Politics

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Kiwi social engineer Leah Rowe (WOT:nonperson) during a recent tantrum brought attention to the problematic structure of the open source "Libreboot" project. For its entire history Libreboot consisted of a forked repository of another open source project to which Rowe added still other people's patches under Rowe's name rather than the actual authors' (archived). The catalyst which brought this problem to the fore was a political statement made by Rowe using the name "Libreboot" without consulting the actual authors of Libreboot code. These authors who had not particularly cared that Rowe took their names from their code however decided that they definitely did not want Rowe's political tantrums to be misconstrued as their own.

Authorship matters.

Nigerian Students Scammed By Alabama State University

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A group of 37 international students from Nigeria are suing Alabama State University over the school's practice of withholding scholarship funds sent by the Nigerian government for their benefit (archived). In their defense, the school alleges a mysterious official from the Nigerian government directed them not to disburse the remaining balance of the scholarships after tuition and required fees to the students. Per the conditions attached to the scholarships these funds were to be directed to the students so that they could pay their expenses incurred which are not billed by the university. The extent to which Alabama State managed to keep these students from accessing their scholarship funds however kept students from even paying tuition to take classes at the university during the summer term, because of instructions the University alleges it received from the mystery government official. The school further alleges the instructions directed returning surplus funds to a "Nigerian Government account." Sorry for your loss.

Google And Apple Break Compatibility With New Developer Product Releases

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In near simultaneous fashion Google and Apple both released new products aimed at "software developers" which break compatibility with the product's previous incarnations. Google's Angular2 "web application framework" breaks compatibility with Angular1, while version 3.0 of Apple's Swift programming language is source incompatible with previous versions of the language. Sorry for your loss.

NJ Hamplanet Chris Christie's Own Lawyer Calls Him A Liar

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New Jersey hamplanet and alleged governor Chris Christie's own lawyer asserted his own client was a liar. The trial concerns allegations of wrongdoing connected to a local scandal of trivial importance. Christie is notable for scuttling his own campaign for the United States presidency in order to sabotage his own party's candidates in support of Donald Trump-Clinton's campaign and eating himself into a genderless anatomical state. Sorry for your laws.

Paxful "Executives" Arrested With Oodles Of Drugs

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Paxful executives were arrested after Chief Technology Officer Artur Shaback engaged in the practice of "open carry" on the balcony of a private domicile. Police responded to this lawful activity by establishing a perimeter and taking Shaback in to custody along with Paxful Chief Executive Officer Mohamed Azab Yousseff and another yet man, Ivan Suhharev.

Following police violence that allegedly lead to the discovery of drugs the Paxful "executives" were released. The CTO and Suhharev face charges of "improper exhibition" relating to their constitutional open carry in the boundaries of a domicile. The CEO faces charges of hashish and cocaine possession with intent to distribute1 in a clear cut case of "Shrem's Bong" lowering another fringe "emerging technologies" addict into pederasty.

Peace in our time, for as another aspiring businessman once wrote before his life became unmanageable:

Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.

  1. "Intent to distribute" in the Usistani vocabulary denotes a quantity of drug material or a manner of packaging drug material, and does not actually depend upon establishing an actual intent to distribute the drug material.  ↩