Bastille Day Truck Attack In Nice, France

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In Nice, France a man attacked a crowd celebrating "Bastille Day" by using a truck as a weapon. Details about the incident are developing with estimates suggesting 30-50 at least 60 73 deaths and no according to early official statements on the number of casualties. This early media provided estimate suggests the total number of fatalities in this incident could greatly exceed those achieved in the recent Orlando gaybar shooting.This incident seems to support the late Timothy McVeigh's hypothesis that a well aimed motor vehicle makes a far more effective weapon of terror than any rifle.

In news of indeterminate relation to the Nice attack, a truck near the Eiffel tower in Paris reportedly had a cargo full of fireworks begin to ignite.

Windows Print Spooler Vulnerability Spent 20 Years Unaddressed

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A  vulnerability in the way Microsoft Windows communicates with printers survived 20 years in the wild (archived). It was addressed in the latest round of Windows Update patches, which if the Stuxnet backdoor is any example means that Microsoft merely tightened the conditions for exploiting it until the probable new vulnerability becomes public knowledge. Sorry for your loss.

Theresa May British PM After No One Else Wants Job Following #Brexit Vote

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Later this week censorious Tory Theresa May (WOT :nonperson) will be set to take over as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom following a #Brexit inspired series of abidcations. Theresa May was selected through the incredibly democratic process where a bunch of parliament insiders gathered around and asked each other who wants the job and is registered as a member of the correct party.

During the campaign preceding the #Brexit vote May supported the "Remain" ballot option though this week she changed her position to:

"#Brexit means #Brexit"

May publicly declared however the best time to actually file the UK's action would be at the end of this year.

In addition to being a #Brexit opponent May is a supporter of the war on computing. Further her barren womb was a source of ridicule in the posturing contest that lead to her selection. Many in the mainstream anglophone press are already producing fanfic supposing that May and Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) will be the next incarnation of the Thatcher-Reagan partnership. This fanfic of course neglects the greater similarity Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) has with Reagan given their common careers as entertainers and spokespersons before entering politics.

Theresa May is unlikely to undertake any measures correcting previous actions on the part of the United Kingdom to regulate itself out of Bitcoin. Sorry for your laws.

Shots Fired At D.C. Police Oficers

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Zero Hedge reports that five men are under arrest in D.C after firing shots at police officers (archived). According to an unidentified spokesperson for the department the shots were not an attack on police officers, instead the shooting was merely a strategy for trying to avoid arrest. They were not successful. Omitted from any public statement is a mechanism by which shooting at police officers could be successful at avoiding or at least delaying arrest. Peace in our time!

DAO Is Empty Again

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The DAO, everyone's favorite flaming tire in a shitpit, is reportedly empty again after members of a so-called robin hood group emptied it in an emergency move after yet another attack was launched on the platform. Copious amounts of jenkem were passed around the r/ethereum subreddit to huff as users agreed the latest batch was some of the most potent to date, perhaps due to the added corn content.

Antminer Flaw Allows Machine Takeover

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An Australian security researcher has discovered a flaw in Antminer Bitcoin miners that can be leveraged with CGMiner to obtain complete control of the victim's mining resources. Tim Noise stated that the majority of devices are configured from the factory with a web interface without a password set, which can then be silently adjusted to redirect the mining proceeds to the attackers wallet. Further lulz were had when it was noted that the OpenWRT software is running most operations, including CGMiner as root user. The flaw was tested on the ubiquitous Antminer S5, and Noise is currently testing the proof of concept on the S7 series of devices to see if it can be duplicated. He has posted his version of the exploit code, dubbed "Queen Ant" on shithub. BitMain did not comment on the announcement.

Activity On ChangeTip Today

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The 7 remaining ChangeTip users1 cheered themselves on Twitter today as they moved a whopping 0.2 Bitcoin across their ailing network. Since the acquisition of their staff by AirnBNB, ChangeTip the product apparently no longer has sufficient staff to spam social media or further develop the service in any meaningful way. A request to the BitGive charity to comment on the donation was unanswered, and the request to twitter user @CharlesCNorton (WOT:nonperson) was blocked. (archived)

  1. estimated  ↩

Further Violence In United States Over The Weekend

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Incidents of violence involving police continued over the weekend in the United States. In St Paul Minnesota 21 police officers were injured and 102 arrests were made after violence broke out at a protest on Interstate 94 in the city (archived). The most severe injury disclosed was a broke vertebra imparted by a cinder block dropped on the officer's head.

Meanwhile Tyler Gebhard (WOT:nonperson) invaded the home of a police officer in Lakeshire, an upscale suburb in south west St Louis County, Missouri. The home invasion was reportedly prompted by a heated Facebook argument between the two. After breaching the officer's home with a 50 pound concrete planter, Gebhard was relieved of his anger and mortality through the officer's application of hot lead.

Peace in our time.

WAPO: Major US Socialist Party To Deploy Electoral Nuclear Option In Desperation

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According to the Washington Post the Major Socialist Party in the United States1 is set to deploy a nuclear option in the campaign out of desperation. This nuclear option is a pathway for marijuana legalization in the United States.2 This comes as the Libertarian party ticket of two term governors Gary Johnson and William Weld is positioned to play spoiler not to Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson), but to Hillary Rodham-Clinton. Traditionally the Libertarian party has been positioned to spoil minor socialist tickets while the Green Party3 spoiled major socialist tickets.

In this year's electoral circus where the Libertarian slate is polling with greater support than the typical gap between major party candidates, the Major socialist party has been forced to fire the marijuana legalization glass cannon.4 Of course there could be other motivations for the move, like the reality that United States farmers desperately need a crop that isn't edible. Sorry for your laws.

  1. Meaning the one that is poised to nominate Hillary "Clitler" Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson)for the presidency.  ↩

  2. Also known as what people thought they were  for voting for when voting for Barack Obama (WOT:nonperson).  ↩

  3. Became defunct in 2000 when it helped spoil Al Gore's (WOT:nonperson) chance at beating George W. Bush (WOT:nonperson).  ↩

  4. This a a glass cannon because you can only legalize marijuana once. Otherwise marijuana is already legal. Just as delivering gay marriage means they can't deliver it again. This is in contrast to their tent poles like fighting poverty which are incapable of having a defined "mission accomplished" style ending.  ↩