Fake News Today: WaPo Works To Undermine Trump Election With Unsourced Assertions

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Over the weekend the Washington Post along with Democratic party operatives Woodward and Bernstein worked to undermine the election of Donald Trump by asserting an "Intelligence source" with no name or agency affiliation provided saw proof of Russian interference with the election. This has been conflated by the Washington Post to mean the CIA decisively concluded that there indeed was Russian interference in the election.

The WaPo's mystery source further insists the Republican National Committee was hacked to in spite of a lack of any wikileaks or announced evidence of a hack.1

This is an early bullish indicator for a second Trump term in the presidency as the losing socialist party is set to expend its efforts trying to delegitimize the populist candidate instead of courting the working class whites they demonized and abandoned.

  1. While it is likely that both the US Democratic Socialist Party and US Republican Socialist Party are constantly being hacked by state level actors only one party's candidate and leadership had a notorious reputation before the election for disregarding any and all information hygiene recommendations. There is a limit on the secrets Arkencide can keep when you just keep information around wherever.  ↩

Ruskies Chase ISIS Out Of Palmyra, ISIS Returns Hours Later

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ISIS retook the ancient city of Palmyra just hours after Russian airstrikes designed to drive them away from the city failed. (archived); ISIS occupied the 2000 year old site for 10 months until early this year, and destroyed many ancient temples and performed executions at the ruin sites. Palmyra is considered a strategic city because it lies along a route serving oil wells.

Lower Korea Makes "Our Democracy" Weird Again

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Lower Korean1 President Park Geun-hye was impeached following a scandal involving confidential information granted to the president's "Spiritual Advisor" by the chief executive of our democracy. On top of the simple charge the President was impeached for there was substantial media campaign involving the occult and tawdry sex allegations which eroded popular support for the President as is traditional in our democracy. Park Geun-hye remains the President of lower Korea including residence at the Blue House though Presidential powers of our democracy have been transferred to the Prime Minister until the Supreme Court rules on the impeachment.

If the Supreme Court rules to eject Park Geun-hye from office, the United Nation's Ban Ki Moon is the leading candidate to win the office. Conveniently Moon's term as UN Secretary General expires at the end of this year. Make Our Democracy Weird Again!

  1. Also known as Republic of Korea, not to be confused with The Democratic People's Republic of Best Korea  ↩

Pharma Execs Arrested For Selling Medicine

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A former CEO and two vice presidents were among six former employees of Insys Therapeutics arrested over the company's marketing of the painkiller fentanyl. The alleged marketing tactics are similar to those used by other drug manufacturers operating in the same fiat markets, except their product has spent years being demonized in the news for killing young white people.

Yahoo Caulks Another Hole

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Yahoo has reportedly fixed yet another XSS vulnerability in their email service, one which allowed an attacker to read anyone's email without the benefit of login credentials. (archived) The company reportedly paid security researcher Jouko Pynnonen a mere 10,000 US dollars for reporting the bug privately, instead of following the path of Peace and releasing the lulz on the internet at large. The news comes on the heels of Yahoo revealing earlier this year a breach that occurred in 2014 that compromised half a billion user account credentials.

Bitcoin Price Outlook: Magenta Possible In 2017

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Continued disconnect between sanctioned fiat/Bitcoin interfaces and informed trades converting these two different kinds of currency suggest fiat/Bitcoin interfaces may begin reporting Magenta as a price by the end of 2017. Other outlets are projecting the US dollar may fall to 1/2000th to 1/2100th some time in 2017 based on inflation, interest rates, and the strength of the dollar which they predict to all rise with the inauguration and summoning of The Great Again. Such projections gravely underestimate the existing strain on the tenuous connections between the various fiat/Bitcoin interfaces and reality.1 Sorry for your loss.

  1. From The Delusionists at Bitstamp:

    Subject: Qualifying Investors Can Now Invest in Bitstamp & Get a 24-hour Head Start
    Date: Tue, 06 Dec 2016 21:39:10 -0000

    Dear customers,

    I have some news I would like to share with you. In response to high levels of demand from our stakeholders, we are today offering savvy investors the opportunity to take an equity stake in Bitstamp on <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">BnkToTheFuture.com</a>, a global online investment platform that allows qualifying investors to invest in the future of finance and technology. As you would expect, bitcoin is of course accepted!

    With venture capitalist Pantera Capital having already invested USD 10 million in seed funding, we feel confident that the smart money is on us. You are more than welcome to join us as we continue to bring prudence and sanity to our industry.

    Operating as we do in a fledgling market with huge potential for growth, we are firmly of the opinion that the early bird does indeed catch the worm. This opportunity for qualifying investors to invest in Bitstamp is no                             different and could very well turn out to be the best way to welcome in your 2017, a year which holds great promise for our industry.

    To get things up and running, we are giving Bitstamp customers a 24-hour head start before we go live on <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">BnkToTheFuture.com</a>. The round will close on 24 January 2017. Click <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">here</a> now to find out more and see if you qualify!

    As ever, thank you for your continued loyalty and support. I look forward to welcoming you on board as a Bitstamp investor.

    Best,
    Nejc Kodric
    CEO, Bitstamp

     ↩

Another Spam Tipping Service Emerges To Fill Invisible Void

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Not learning from the failures of former spam service Changetip a new "tipping" service, CoinTip, has now sprung up on twitter and has reddit hopeful they will expand their services to the platform. The creators of CoinTip are none other than Janom, founder of Japan's Monacoin exchange site. Monacoin briefly was a trendcoin across Japan, and like other ill-fated alts is now barely worth pennies on most exchanges. It is likely that CoinTip will suffer the same fate, being used to spam fractions of a bitcent for worthless content across social media until users realize they don't need third party services to send coins.

"Liberal" West Today: Merkel Announces Burqa Ban

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Angela Merkel, who recently announced zer intent to run for reelection as an explicitly establishment candidate, has embraced a populist political position in order to curry favor with voters. Merkel announced plans to ban the burqa in any place zhe may "legally" do so. Germans have been taking a beating lately at home, in their European Union, and technologically.

Aussie Faces Investigation After Defending Dog From Viscious Roo Attack

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An Austrialian man is facing investigation by various "environmental" agencies of the Australian state after defending his dog and his hunting companions from a vicious attack by a kangaroo. The kangaroo was choking the man's dog when he intervened. After humanely delivering a single right jab to the Roo's face the monstrous animal fled. This victim of spurious environmental investigation is a professional zookeeper.