Major US Socialist Party Experiences First Contested Chair Contest In Decades As Internal Divisions Grow

Tom Perez (WOT:nonperson) won the first contested race for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee becoming the defacto boss of the party of losing. Perez, a former secretary of labor, represents the Hillary Rodham-Clinton establishment human trafficking wing of the part which recently lost everything, and he defeated Keith Ellison of the Bernie Sanders, Granola, and voluntary human extinction wing of the party. Meanwhile Trump reigns, praise be upon him.

Hussein Bahamas To Vacation Closer To Kenya?

The doe-eyed founders of the Obama '17 Campaign for French President recently admitted to MSM that

It's definitely a joke. But it could make people think a little bit about what we could do differently in French politics.

Unsatisfied with the impending La Penmanship and the inevitable conclusion of the Nth Republique,1 this founding band of 30-something "creatives" don't appear to appreciate that Bahamas deported more people from his country and was at war longer than any other previous US President, all while greatly increasing the tax burden and doubling the national debt. Evidently, ostriches believing in the "Scandal-Free Presidency" mythology aren't unknown in the Paris area, as evidenced by the claim that

I think the whole world would love to have him as president

#pasvraiment but that hasn't stopped the increasing use of #ouionpeut.


  1. Not to mention eager to relive the glory days when foreign rulers oversaw the French / Gaulish provinces, whether that was Julius Caesar, Henry V, Henry VI, or Napolean.  

Fire In The Security Theater: Cloudflare Leaks As SHA1 Broken

Two honored pillars of the "cyber" security theater were lost recently in a fire.

Sorry for your loss.

"Биткоин — это единственная в мире блокчейн" says Russian State Bank

Speaking with newspaper Kommersant, Nikita Smirnov, Vice President of Information Technology at Vnesheconombank, told reporters

Биткоин — это единственная в мире блокчейн

and

Его можно сравнить с бактерией, которая уже существует отдельно от человека и вошла с человеком в симбиоз

which roughly translates, respectively, to "Bitcoin is the world's only blockchain" and "Compare [Bitcoin] to a bacteria, which exists separately from humans, but is in a symbiotic relationship with humans". These fiat confirmations come, respectively, two-and-a-half years and over four years after these blindingly factual statements were first announced publicly to the world.

And you thought ten minute blocks were slow. Sorry for your lag.

Yiannopoulos Quits Media Giant Breitbart

Today tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos quit United States media giant Breitbart after a video became public where Yiannopoulos related that his experience being molested by a member of the clergy wasn't that bad. The moribund press expended substantial column inches condemning the libertine comments as they conducted an organized campaign of oppression against the homosexual Yiannopoulos. Yiannopoulos tendered his resignation to Breitbart media as a result of this harassment campaign.

Meanwhile Breitbart Media, a venture which outlasted founder Andrew Breitbart, has grown to surpass Disney's ESPN in internet audience size according to Alexa.1


  1. For what little Alexa is worth.  

Dream Market (Yet another Darknet Market) Accounts Compromised

A reddit user named Skillzythehacker has claimed to have compromised thousands of accounts on Dream Market, though market administrators said no Bitcoin were at risk. The attacker said of all the compromised accounts, none were using 2FA, a supposed panacea for login security issues.

Dream market admin wombat2combat released the following message:

- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

The user /u/Skillzythehacker sent the mods of /r/Darknetmarkets a list of over 
50 login credentials [names and passwords] for dream market accounts.

After looking at them more closely we can verifiy that they are working and the
accounts are pretty old because their user IDs are between about 100k and 500k
while the latest ones [when registering a new account] are higher than 700k.

It is therefore very likely that these login credentials were obtained through a
database breach/hack.

There were already made some changes to the current dream market warnings and 
this issue will be added to them too.
- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
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=b1Lf
- -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

The attacker is said to have provided proof he could log into various accounts, leading users to speculate that user info was stored with weak or no encryption. (archived)

Russia Passes Saudi Arabia In Crude Oil Production

With an ongoing oil surplus affecting prices, Russia has managed to surpass Saudi Arabia as the world's top oil producer in figures from December. This comes amid independent cuts in Russian oil output and concerted but inconsistent cuts among OPEC members. The United States maintains third place while having not cut output at all.

NZ High Court: Kim Dotcom Extradition Eligible

"Justice" Murray Gilbert of the High Court of New Zealand upheld the lower court's decision by Nevin Dawson that Kim Dotcom is eligible for extradition to the United States. Gilbert noted that "criminal copyright infringement" of the sort criminally marketed by the United States is not a crime in New Zealand. Gilbert instead supposed that "general criminal law fraud" was a sufficiently vague label to abuse in making Kim Dotcom extraditable.

It's Not Rape If Her Uterus Meanwhile Absorbed It

Novel legal theory unveiled (in a whitepaper, of course) by obscure scamcoin Zcoin's own Reuben Yak earlier today explains that even through "an unknown party" made away with anywhere between 410% and ∞% of the marketable value of the whole shebang nevertheless it's all good because of the market having absorbed the damage or in other words because the damage was mostly absorbed by the markets.

Sorry for your rights, priviledges, sanity and loss, in some order that was already absorbed by this text.