Category Archives: Weather

Sears Selling Craftsman Brand To Stanley Black & Decker

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Sears1 is selling their Craftsman brand to the Stanley Black and Decker company. Craftsman was a brand in the greatest American sense of the word, a single label applied to any number of products made by any number of actual vendors to which the "Craftsman" label was applied. At times Stanley Black & Decker2 was the manufacturer of some "Craftsman" branded products.

Techtronic Industries of Hong Kong will likely lose the business of providing power tools to be sold under the "Craftsman" name as Stanley Black & Decker already has the ability to produce power tools. "Craftsman" outdoor power equipment is likely to continue being manufactured outside the Stanley Black & Decker family, provided Stanley Black & Decker cares to keep that line of business going.

Stanley Black & Decker will be paying Sears Holdings 525 million United States dollars now, 250 million USd at the end of 3 years, and a percentage of sales from "Craftsman" branded products for 15 years.

  1. The official retailer of when America was great, what again?  ↩

  2. And Stanley before it merged with Black and Decker.  ↩

"Fuck White People": Pack Of Native Chicagoans Torture Captive White Boy

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Four native Chicagoans1 have been arrested after they abducted an handicapped white boy and tortured him while holding him in captivity for 48 hours. Video of the white boy's torture was broadcast on "Facebook Live" while the black Chicagoans shouted hate epithets including:

"Fuck White People!'

and

"Fuck Donald Trump!"

The Chicago police department is recommending hate crime, kidnapping, and battery charges in the case. The suspects did not cover their faces while broadcasting their racially motivated torture session.

  1. Jordan Hill, Tesfaye Cooper, Brittany Covington and Tanishia Covington  ↩

fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Continue Reporting Upwards Volatility, March to Magenta Continues

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So far 2017 is continuing the recent upwards trend in prices reported by fiat/Bitcoin interfaces passing a number of milestones today:

While fiat/Bitcoin interface insolvency remains a reality and connections to reality on the fiat end generally seem to be loose, much has changed since this price level was reported. Perhaps most notably in the mind of buyers, concerted social engineering efforts to undermine Bitcoin variously named XTCoin, ClassicCoin, Unlimited, and Segregated Witness have all failed, laughably so.3

Still, tomorrow any or all of these fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interfaces could offer nothing for your Bitcoins while demanding you deliver the entire whole and undivided transcendental idea of the color magenta4 to them.

Sorry for your loss.

  1. "volume weighted" price, strong lead by China and over 1050 Euros across the board  ↩

  2. Similar situation, above 1100 dollars with the exception of BTC-E  ↩

  3. As opposed to seriously so. They never made it that far against entrenched resistance because Bitcoin is a hard thing.  ↩

  4. In the only way that matters, that impossible way which would deny everyone else both magenta and the idea of magenta.  ↩

Venice Refugee Center Patrons Riot And Take Hostages

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A refugee service center near Venice, Italy is facing a riot after one of the center's patrons died inside the internment camp. Angry patrons have set fires around the premises and barricaded the gates while social services workers administering the internment camp similarly barricaded themselves in their offices where they have become hostages. Italian security forces eventually quelled the internment camp uprising and allowed the camp administrators egress.

The Story Of 2016: Socialist Butthurt

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While the civilized world advanced by leaps and bounds, the story of our recently deceased year 2016 is of socialistard butthurt.

Sorry for your loss.

Shinohai's 2016 End Of The Year Shitcoin Roundup Xtend (TM)(R)

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Bitfinex ends the year by a plague of bugs that cause balances to display improperly in their UI, possibly the result of using tokens to make users believe they actually own Bitcoin.

Coinbase has reportedly suffered a number of payment failures due to their use of Gavin Andresen's BIP70 implementation. The security researcher who discovered the bug presented a complicated workaround which could be avoided by ignoring Coinbase altogether and paying merchants from Bitcoin wallets one controls the private keys to.

La Superintendencia de Sociedades, a regulatory agency in Columbia, has declared Bitcoin illegal and says that the peso remains the only valid currency for any transaction. The Banco de la República has also stated that they are the only institution that can issue any form of currency.

A Scottish altcoiner named David Low, oblivious to the failure of Auroracoin, is certain his invention of Scotcoin will bring about independence from their Limey overlords. Mr Low, who plans on offering his altcorn to the Scottish government, has said new users can claim 1000 coins for free after which they may purchase more at the low, low price of £1.65 per thousand.

Hussein Bahamas Continues Picking Fights As Term Dwindles

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Lame duck United States President Hussein Bahamas has continued his new hobby of abruptly changing US policy as his term approaches its constitutional end. In addition to the mundane changes like telling Bibi off, opening the dollar printing press to agriculture, and converting a million acres in the American west into a "National Monument" on a whim Hussein Bahamas escalated his saber rattling with Russian President Putin.

Hussein Bahamas is expelling 35 registered diplomats from the Russian Federation, giving them 72 hours to leave US soil while also denying access to and ordering the closure of Russian diplomatic compounds in New York and Maryland. This move is accompanied by other assorted sanctions. Pence in our time.

BTC38 Does Buterin Inspired "Rollback" After API Keys Compromised

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Chinese altcoin exchange BTC38 has reportedly suffered an attack that resulted in a 1.5 million RMB (Appx. $220,000 USD) Sorry For Your Loss.

A post on 8btc.com stated:

“As a result of the server logic problems on 21st Dec, more than 10 million Bitshares, over 10 million NXT and some BTC/LTC were stolen from the exchange’s hot wallet (estimated total loss of 1.5 million RMB). We shut down the server immediately and stayed up all night to fix the problem. We have reviewed our wallet deployment plan and made new adjustments. We will take full responsibility for the total loss of the digital asset (market buyback).” The most important assurance is that all funds are safe in the hands of BTC38.
BTC38 explained the delay to calm down the market:“As we are currently redeploying the wallet, the service for certain coins will be resumed gradually.”

The hack comes on the heels of an attack earlier this year, in which BTC38's API keys were compromised, resulting in the exchange taking a lesson from the Vitalik Buterin playbook and "rolling back" trades. A security review was announced at that time time which apparently did little to prevent the latest breach. The exchange assures users that this time, however, the loss of hot wallet funds would not impact any customer balances.

Grinch Netanyahu Deliver Christmas Scolding To Ambassadors

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Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu summoned the ambassadors from all of the United Nations Security Council members in his country to scold them for passing a resolution which condemned Israeli home building practices. Earlier this week the UN Security Council voted 14-0 to condemn the Israeli practice of locating new residential developments inside contested areas within Israel's borders.

Normally such a resolution would have been blocked by the United States voting no, but Hussein Bahamas instead decided to having his representative simply not vote at all as he attempts to create the largest possible mess for his successor to inherit. What was good United States foreign policy the first 95 months of the Hussein Bahamas administration apparently stopped being good US foreign policy the 96th month.

And so on Christmas day the Prime Minister of the Jews harangued 111 ambassadors to his country because Hussein Bahamas suddenly decided to care where homes are built.

  1. Four potential scoldings were avoided due to the countries holding Security Council seats while abstaining from diplomatic relations with Israel.  ↩