Category Archives: North America

USG Hypes Operation Delivering "Gifts" To Troops In Syria As All Mentions Of Withdrawal Apparently Lies

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Despite the withdrawal of USG troops in Syria being loudly announced several times only for "withdrawal of troops from Syria" never actually meaning that in the plain sense, the USG is touting the alleged success of "Operation Holiday Express" (archived). Despite USG military capability falling to the point it can only play at projecting power through deploying its troops as human shields with the limited effect of prolonging conflict between active parties, the USG appears to be doubling down on its attempts to warfight through spending on moral, recreation, and welfare.

Naturally the USG's ability to carry out this sort of image campaign has declined substantially from Dubya Bush bringing professional wrestling to Baghdad shortly after his invasion to this year's enlisted band and church donation box offerings (archived). Increasing expenditures and years of "progress" are showing markedly reduced USG capacity even when it comes to producing targetted propaganda for their captive audience back home.

Trump Signs Bill Vastly Increasing US Military Personnel Costs As Capability Keeps Declining

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With his signing of the "2020 National Defense Authorization Act" democratically elected US President Donald Trump has enacted several structural changes to the way US military personnel are compensated (archived). Among the costlier changes: Continue reading →

Pichiaje In California Up 16.4% In 2019

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Per the USG's "Housing and Urban Development" office's own statistics, the number of homo sapiens deciding to idenfity as large, featherless, and flat nailed pigeons has increased 16.4% over 2019 (archived). As warm bodies continue crawling to KKKalifornia for the mild winters and the pretense of opportunity, the mass of bodies has found itself redundant. There's simply nothing in California that any of these bodies can do worth paying a single one of them enough to rent a bed.

Across the entire US, an increase of 2.7 percent in the featherless pigeon population is being claimed. As with the inflation scam, these "official" numbers should be assumed to understate the trend by at least a third and while the upper bound for error is multiple orders of magnitude.

16 Year Sentence Handed Down In Iowa Flag Burning Case

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Adolfo Martinez of Ames, Iowa has been sentenced to 16 years of imprisonment by a Story County court after he removed a rainbow "Pride" flag from the Ames United Church of Christ on sixth street and burned the flag in from of a "Gentleman's club" on fifth street (archived). On the so-called Court's way to sentencing the 30 year old Martinez to incarceration through his 46th year of age, the court assigned him convictions for allegedly committing Arson and Hate Crime for his burning of a piece of cloth that someone happened to assign great political importance.

On their own none of the charges against Martinez carry a maximum possible sentence over five years, but the Court elected to impose sentences over the maximum through the "habitual offender" device.

Democratically Elected US President Donald Trump Writes Letter To Pantsuit Nancy

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With the US House of Representatives set to vote on impeachment today, democratically elected US President Donald Trump wrote a letter to Pantsuitist House leader Nancy Pelosi expressing grave concern over the hallucinatory loop that her and her fellow Pantsuits seem to be trapped inside. Being analogous to an indictment, the impeachment on its own has no effect without being followed by a conviction supported by a 2/3 supermajority of the Senate. Noise out of the Senate suggests that the impeachment will either be dismissed shortly after opening arguments or the trial will be used to enter substantial amounts of Pantsuit dirty landry into the public record. The Senate is not composed in a way which would allow for a conviction vote to pass. Full text of the letter is below: Continue reading →

NGINX Hit By Russian Police Raid Over Copyright Drama

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NGINX developer Igor Sysoev's former employer Rambler Group has entered a claim to ownership over the software's codebase leading to a police raid on NGINX's Moscow offices (archived). NGINX was initially released in 2004, and Sysoev started a commercial venture around the code when he left Rambler Group in 2011. When San Francisco based F5 networks spent 670 million USD to acquire Sysoev's firm earlier this year, it seemed to raise issues with Rambler's management as to what exactly Sysoev had been doing while on their payroll.

Hell Freezing Over: AFL-CIO Endorses Trump Trade Agreement

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AFL-CIO boss and de facto leader of the US labor movement Richard Trumpka announced this week that the organization would be endorsing the trade agreement US President Donal Trump has pushed as a replacement for NAFTA (archived). As Pantsuitist opposition candidates challenging Trump continue to wank over intersectionality and other matters of concern only to ever smaller interest groups, the local labor movement's pivot towards Trump and MAGA suggests the leadership is catching up to their critically endangered blue collar membership's preferences.

Saudi Air Force Lieutenant Shoots Up Naval Air Station Pensacola

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A Saudi Air Force Lieutenant assigned to US Naval Air Station Pensacola reportedly killed 3 and wounded 8 before being gunned down by local police (archived). Six Ten other Saudi nationals were taken into custody (archived). Three of the detained Saudis allegedly filmed the assault. The late Mohammed Saeed Alshamrani published something resembling a manifesto on Twitter declaring his hatred for American crimes against Muslims and humanity several hours before commencing his attack.

Alshamrani was 9 months away from completing a three year "Foreign Military Sales training program" purchased by the Saudi government.

Oracle Sues US Department Of Labor Over Existence Of "Administrative Courts"

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Oracle is suing the USG Department of Labor over the existence of the Department's "administrative courts" where Oracle is being sued for alleged pay discrimination (archived). Since 2017 the Department of Labor has been suing the firm over an alleged 400 million USD underpayment of wages to women and colored people. Oracle's response this week raises the Department's stake in attempting to innovate new common law by cutting at the dubious constitutional legitimacy of the administrative court itself.

Unnamed "experts" inside the zone are writing off the possibility Oracle's suit suceeds in trimming the US federal bureaucracy as "unlikely" in comments to Pantsuitist media though in a common law system, anything can happen without regard for what the laws actually say. An Oracle win would gut this particular system and provide precedent for cutting at numerous other "administrative" dockets.

US FCC To Cut "Rural Internet" Funds As Half Assed Trade War Continues

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The USG's FCC has decided to disallow new purchases of network gear made by Chinese firms Huawei and ZTE by recipients of "Universal Service Fund" subsidies though they have not yet made any firm decisions on whether recipients of these subsidies will be compelled to rip out any existing network gear (archived). The Universal Service fund was nominally established to encourage building telecom infrastructure in rural areas, but in practice it more frequently places ObamaPhones into the hands of the urban poor.

Efforts by the USG to engage in an actual trade war with China have been substantially hampered by US dependence on Chinese industry, particularly in propping up the illusion of the US having its own technology sector. So far the only major casualty on the Chinese side has been kidnapped Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.