Category Archives: News

Merkel Gets Cocky After Pantsuit Party's Macron Win In France

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Weimar leader Angela Merkel is doubling down on zher growing role as the public leader of the International Pantsuit Party's establishment1 while campaigning for re-election as chancellor of the Weimar Republic, by suggesting Europe can no longer depend on America… And by America zhe means Britain… And Poland… And Hungary… And much of the French Population… And any other Europeans who are insufficiently Weimar to be European.

Zher comments on the future of Weimar trailed NATO and G7 meetings where United States President Donald Trump embarrassed the Weimar Europeans for balking on their NATO dues and trying to push for stricter "environmental" rules2 while the de facto German state owned firm Volkswagen faked exhaust emissions with lying software  initially sold as engineering "innovation". The Krauts go to the polls this September.

  1. Longtime Pantsuit Party leader and US President Reject Hillary Rodham-Clinton has meanwhile been relegated to speaking on college campuses about the hallucinatory coping powers offered by Chardonnay.  ↩

  2. i.e. opportunities for the Weimars to gain unfair competitive advantage via fraud  ↩

Media Attacks Montana Candidate For Defending Self Against Physical Assault By Goon

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Numerous left wing fake news outlets are besieging Montana congressional candidate Greg Gianforte after Ben Jacobs, a goon and agitator hired by the Britain's Guardian toilet paper, attempted to assault the candidate.

On the eve of the special election, Jacobs entered Gianforte's office without invitation during a meeting with another so-called journalist. Jacobs immediately engaged in verbal aggression and came within a distance of the candidate so close as to cause alarm, especially in light of the growing epidemic of leftist violence in the United States. Gianforte engaged in justified self defense to expel the invader from his office.

After the local sheriff cited Gianforte for misdemeanor assault on the strength of witness testimony delivery the invader Jacobs' allied witnesses who happened to be in the room meeting with the candidate when Jacobs began his performance.

Gianforte's only major fault in this situation lies in the risk miscalculation that lead him to attempt to engage with political agents of the fake news establishment as though they were neutral observers or actual journalists. Gianforte made a second, minor error in not roughing up the other journalists present in order to change their standing from witnesses to combatants, but this error follows from the first.

Still No Consensus Supporting Bitcoin Hardfork – Barry Silbert Pretends Otherwise To His Peril

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Barry Silbert's (WOT:nonperson) "Digital Currency Group" announced in a medium post that yet another delusion of consensus arrived in the Bitcoin scaling debate with "A conference sponsored by the Ethereum,1 Dash,2 and Ripple3 scams produces an agreement on how to scale Bitcoin". The post outlined the reasons the conference attendees believe they get to make decisions in Bitcoin, with claims of support for the proposals by:

  • 56 "companies" located in 21 countries4
  • 83.28% of hashing power5
  • 5.1 billion US dollars of monthly on chain transaction volume6
  • 20.5 million Bitcoin wallets 7

A selection of scam artists doing business as "companies" while lacking the charm necessary to fleece the elderly allege they will "provide technical and engineering support to test and support the upgrade software, as well as to assist companies with preparing for the upgrades". Noted names incapable of providing meaningful testing or support such as: the MLM BitClub Network, Ryan X. Charles' paywalled spam reader, and Gavin Assassinsen were offered as options for the forkcurious to seek support from.

  1. Not Bitcoin.  ↩

  2. Not Bitcoin.  ↩

  3. Not Bitcoin.  ↩

  4. For a very loose definition of company.  ↩

  5. Unverified and unimportant  ↩

  6. Volume denoted in wrong units ↩

  7. Entirely meaningless construction  ↩

Impeachment Fantasy Of US Socialist Party Begins Collapsing As Infighting Resumes

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The socialist fad sweeping fake news outlets last week threatening a swift Trump impeachment appears to be cracking as the US arm of the Pantsuit Party faces difficulty handling its constituents. National Party chair Tom Perez was heckled for being himself and using insufficiently vulgar language towards Donald Trump, elected United States President and High Priest of The Great Again.

While the Pantsuits and their constituents on Reddit and WORLDSTAR continue escalating their public conflicts, evidence continues to mount that an insider and not the Russians were behind the publication of the party's emails. President Trump, through once again turning towards action, compelled the fake news media to show Trump's warm reception by the Saudis and the Israelis.1

  1. Not mentioned by the fake news media is both regimes' traditional alignment towards the United States and against Russia.  ↩

Ryan X Charles Goes To Clearance Bin For Latest Spam As Service Offering

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Ryan X Charles (WOT:nonperson), finally cognizant that Bitcoin isn't for him has announced he will spam the Litecoin "blockchain" instead, and insists he is really going live this time around the end of the month. Because his target audience has no money, his rationale is that Litecoin is a better choice for the project as it will only cost "a few cents" per transaction providing a lower barrier of entry for his "wide audience" whom he expects to pay to read the same drivel one can find on other outlets for free. He also offered "we like Ethereum too" though that flaming-tire-in-a-shipit was not compatible with his current infrastructure, as testing vaporware on vaporware is hard. X Charles seems confident that pushing another spam as a service offering is needed in the "cryptocurrency space" with his so-called research and development providing more buzzwords.

"Cryptonote" Family Of Altcorns Suffer Infinite Printing Bug

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Developers associated with Monero have disclosed a critical bug in the "cryptonote" family of altcorn that "allows for the creation of an unlimited number of coins in a way that is undetectable to an observer unless they know about the fatal flaw and can search for it." The bug was apparently discovered as early as February and secretly patched by the Monero team, having only been revealed now as developers were waiting for the network to update before notifying other affected coins. Monero developers further assured users that the network had never been exploited using the technique, with only Monero, Aeon, Boolberry, and Forknote having applied the patch at this time. The disclosure overview concluded by cautioning anyone from using, trading, exchanging, or running services involving … Bytecoin, DashCoin, or DigitalNote. SFYL and accompanying lulz are expected as a result of these events. (archived)

Careerist US Attorney Prosecutes Private Money For Property Exchange

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Acting U.S. Attorney Tom Larson of the Western District of Missouri has prosecuting a case of exchanging money for property as a criminal act. The victim Jason R. Klein plead guilty to running an "illegal currency exchange" that per the prosecution only handled money on one side of the transaction as the other side of the transaction was property. Had the case been prosecuted to a verdict in favor of the prosecution, it would have set a precedent for prosecuting any transactions between private parties.

Tom Larson is a careerist employed by the US Attorney's office for the Western District of Missouri since 1980 before finding himself in this interim leadership position. This is a typical career path of least resistance undertaken by swamp creatures embedded as obstacles to The Great Again.