Today militants flying the banner of the Islamic State's Caliphate oppressed members of a minority religion in their place of worship on one of their holy feast days. The militants representing the Caliphate's interests in Egypt bombed two Coptic Christian churches as the members of the minority religion were celebrating "Palm Sunday", a feast marking their holy tradesman's triumphant return to Jerusalem days before the holy tradesman was martyred by combined Italian and Jewish police violence.
Category Archives: News
Tears Of The Great Again: Leftists Find, Exploit Trump's Weakness
Hope for The Great Again coming to America appears to be dwindling with the leftist media finally having found and exploited Donald Trump-Clinton's greatest weakness. Like many Americans of his advanced age, the man watches too much television and he has a soft spot for babies. In the days since potential ex-President Trump shoved 60 cruise missiles into a Syrian airfield's pussy, a disturbing number of items in the Fake News media seem to have been targeted at a certain single viewer with the likely hope that they can repeat their exploit trigger.
Substantial effort is being directed to subvert the "America First" agenda which lead to Donald Trump's election by the American mainstream and instead warp it into an Obama-ist perversion that means bomb foreigners and scare no one. The Great Again's best hope for realization is if the Trump Administration's moral center Mike Pence does the correct, fatherly thing and turn off his boss's television. Pence in our time.
The Dog Has Been Wagged: Trump Fires 60 Cruise Missiles Into Syrian Airfield's Pussy
US President Donald Trump has taken up the mantle of "warrior for babies" following an alleged sarin gas attack.1 In keeping with his announced deviation from the Hussein Bahamas era policy of announcing military strikes months in advance, Donald Trump ordered the launch of 60 Tomahawk cruise missiles straight into the pussy of a Syrian air base near Homs.
The USS Porter and USS Ross which launched the missiles appear to still be floating suggesting the ongoing Trump led populist regime change in the United States has placed limits on Russia's support for Syrian President Assad. It remains to be seen whether this event leads to US-Russian cooperation on the path towards "Make World Great Again", or if this leads to the abortion of ongoing efforts to summon The Great Again with Trump succumbing to Clintonism. Pence in our time.
Potentially a convential attack on chemical munitions storage that lead to a containment breach. Media reports are conflicting on the nature of the event. ↩
Prudes Attack Pence Security Detail
A Secret Service agent assigned to Vice President Mike Pence's1 security detail has been suspended after allegations that he met a prostitute at a Maryland hotel. The manager of the unnamed hotel snitched on the pair after becoming suspicious of what two consenting adults might be doing behind closed doors on their own time. Police arrested the agent when he exited the motel and charged him with solicitation, and the matter is now being investigated by the "Office of Professional Responsibility". A spokesman for the Secret Service said "the full range of disciplinary actions" were being explored, though no word was available as to whether the agent and his female companion explored a full range of disciplinary actions on their own before the tryst was interrupted.
Pence himself follows the "Billy Graham rule never spending time alone with women other than the Pencewife. ↩
Trump Annouces End To Hussein Bahamas Era Policy Of Announcing Military Plans Months In Advance
United States President Donald Trump announced that he will be ending a military policy embraced by the Hussein Bahamas administration which involved announcing the specific details of military plans months before the planned operations were to be undertaken.
Majority Black Ferguson Missouri Re-Elects White Man As Mayor
Ferguson, the majority black suburb of Saint Louis, Missouri has re-elected white man James Knowles III to a third term as mayor. Knowles was challenged by black woman and former Mary Kay sales professional Ella Jones who ran on a "Black Lives Matter" platform in the city where Knowles response to black civil unrest is alleged to have sparked the "Black Lives Matter" movement. Since the August 2014 shooting which was latched on to by the Fake News media who canonized the late Michael Brown as a saint, black lives have not seemed to particularly increase in significance among the local community. Two thirds of Ferguson's population is black and Knowles was re-elected by 56 percent of the ballots cast in the election.
Hussein Bahamas Advisor Susan Rice Fingered As Surveillance To Political Operatives Conduit
Numerous sources are fingering Hussein Bahamas advisor Susan Rice as the conduit who carried so called "incidentally collected" surveillance on US President Trump and his associates to the rest of Hussein Bahamas political operatives. Jeff Bezos run fake news outlets under the "Washington Post" label are predictably running pieces alleging that not only did Susan Rice not do such a thing, but she should have because it would be "Right, Good, and Proper"(TM)(R).1
The same outlets have run a piece of speculative fiction supposing an American "Reichstag Fire" which would subvert the "rule of law" pretense. Unfortunately the piece was published 5684 days after September 11, 2001. ↩
US Infrastructure Today: Trump's EPA Saves California Agriculture And Vagrants Drop Atlanta Bridge
Events of the past week have done much to illuminate the state of US "Infrastructure" to the extent such a thing pretends to exist.
- Substantial protest circulated among the media when Trump's EPA head Scott Pruitt decided not to implement new rules which would prohibit the agricultural use of the organophosphate pesticide chlorpyrifos. Chorpyrifos, while neurotoxic in humans, is a crucial part of sustaining California's pretense as the "salad bowl" of the United States.The fake news media has dedicated zero time to thanks directed towards the Trump administration by produce growers and merchants.
- In Atlanta a fire which lead to a highway bridge collapse is being attributed to vagrants. Local officials credit bulk storage of PVC pipes under the bridge as providing substantial fuel for the vagrant nuisance conflagration to grow to the point it collapsed the bridge. Three arrests have been made among the local homeless population. These same local officials expect the replacement of 700 feet of highway to take months.
- Deputy White House Chief of Staff Katie Walsh has been reassigned from the White House to work on a campaign fundraising gig. Katie Walsh has been subject to rumours of serving as a source for the fake news media's delusionist social engineering campaigns.
The DAO Is Still Empty: Slock.it Derps Claim Anon Investor Interest
An anonymous investor, evidently accustomed to flushing his money down toilets, has given $2 million USD to failed DAO creators slock.it in order to hire five new "developers" to build a "Universal Sharing Network". The goal of the project is to use smart contracts to monetize the "Internet of Things". Neckbeard Stephan Tual, who somehow still has the job as COO of slock.it stated:
"The smart contracts that we’re going to write as part of the USN are going to be written keeping in mind all the lessons that we’ve learned from The DAO, both in terms of how to write smart contracts, how to keep them safe."
Tual went on to detail a due-diligence process which included an auditing process that must detail where the company will spend funds and what, if anything, the founders have accomplished besides losing millions of dollars and writing shitware on top of an already buggy and unreliable platform. Mr. Tual, however, persists in the delusion that their security is top notch, telling CoinDesk: "There’s going to be top-notch security around the stuff and who’s in a better place to do it than us?". Criticisms regarding the platform and the slock.it team's track record were dismissed as simply foolish talk perpetuated by internet trolls.
Five Percent Increase In Latest Bitcoin Mining Difficulty Adjustment
As commonly happens Bitcoin mining difficulty increased yet again for another all time high. The difficulty went from 475705205061.62921143 to 499635929816.66754150 for a change of ~5.0305787 percent.