Forkcoin "Bitcoin Gold" Hit By 51% Attack

The worthless Forkcoin known as "Bitcoin Gold" is even more worthless having been hit by double spending and 51% attacks demonstrating that its deviant blockchain lacks sufficient interest and value to attract sufficient mining activity. Much like the Roger Ver-ified "Bitcoin Cash" Forkcoin, "Bitcoin Gold" was split from the Bitcoin Blockchain via hardfork by a marginal crew with odd politics and like "Bitcoin Cash" failed to attract sufficient serious interest to matter.

The hill on which the "Bitcoin Gold" crew chose to die was changing the mining algorithm to a GPU mining friendly memory hard algorithm of recent publication dubbed "equihash" leaving their blockchain's security to the mercy of altcoin miners with GPU farms and no particular loyalty to any of the non-Bitcoin blockchains they mine. The meteorological risk of circumstances aligning to make these attacks the natural, economically rational choice for miners looms over every purported "cryptocurrency" blockchain that fails to attract sufficient value to actually be Bitcoin.

Existence Of Big Botnet Made From Small Routers Announced

A great many types of vulnerability-by-design in consumer routers have been public for a rather long time: Linksys, MikroTik, NETGEAR, TP-Link, and other vendors, have — for the entire history of this product type — been selling boxes that are, essentially, public toilets, free for the remote taking by any reasonably-intelligent teenager.

It appears that this "news" has finally percolated down through the drains and into the dark cellars where USG gendarmerie dwell. As part of their regular work to force the replacement of systems containing old, burned NSA-authored vulnerabilities, with new and fresh ones — USG.FBI have recently turned their attention to consumer routers.

The lively petri dish of self-propagating shitware now commonly known to be dwelling in the NSA victims' home routers, has been officially blamed on Putin's omnipotent DNC-diddling brigade. Respectable, non-terrorist USG subjects will, presumably, be issued new, "clean" routers, in the nearest future.

The burning of these vulnerabilities was handled by having "researchers" affiliated with Cisco unveil the presence of a botnet populated by ~500,000 small routers commandeered by an artful piece of malware which persists across device reboots (archived). Meanwhile, Cisco continues having its own profound and self-inflicted security issues.

Brits Hassle Business Man Over "foreign cash deemed not conducive to public good"

British immigration authorities are demanding businessman Roman Abramovich "prove" the legitimacy of his wealth (archived). Abramovich has numerous business ties to the United Kingdom developed over the years including his personal ownership of the Chelsea football club. For years Abramovich has held a "Tier 1" investors visa, but is latest renewal application is being held up pending a new and invasive AML/KYC demonstration of the money's "legitimacy", in the eyes of the government ruling for the crown.

US Alleges Some Guy Leaked CIA Tools But Doesn't Allege Strong Enough To Bring Charges

Prosecutors working for the criminal gang commonly known as the US Government are alleging that Joshua Adam Schulte was somehow involved in leaking a suite of CIA hacking tools and other lulzy artifacts. These prosecutors however aren't making the allegations by actually filing charges against Schulte, just leaking their suspicions to Jeff Bezo's Amazon Presents Washington Post (archived). According to the leaks about the criminal case into the leaker, Schulte's apartment was raided late last year and the seizure of Schulte's computers, electronics, and handwritten notes failed to produce indictable evidence even by the low standards fashionable in US Courts these days.

The US case against Schulte appears to be anchored in Ulbrich type tor wank. Schulte remains in indefinite pre-trial detention on charges unrelated to the CIA leaks case.

Chilean State Bank And Chilean Branch Of Itau Suffer Pre-Trial Loss Against Local Bitcoin Exchange Over Account Closures

Banco del Estado de Chile and the Chileño branch of Brasilero Banking titan Itaú have been ordered to reopen accounts for local Bitcoin exchange Buda.com after the later sued over losing access to traditional fiat side financial services following account closures. The Chileño "Free Market Court" ruled that closing the accounts was premature and Buda.com's accounts with the banks must remain open until the lawsuit concludes.

Handicapped by Pacific coastline, earthquakes, and mountains which make building adequate Internet connectivity a challenge, Chile has resorted to other strategies in an attempt to remain economically relevant in our future.

21.co/Earn.com Saga Ends With Coinbase Acquisition

The story of 21.co/Earn.com, a widely hyped venture capital eating startup that never found a niche despite bouncing between pursuits as varied as selling tiny underpowered miners to spam as a service, has ended in an undisclosed but roughly 100 million USD acquisition by Coinbase. The paltry sum which still overvalues the firm is likely to leave many people taking a haircut. As part of the deal former 21.co/Earn.com CEO Balaji Srinivasan has won a sinecure "evangelizing" for Coinbase.

Boeing Production Hit By Ransomware Using USG.NSA Exploits

Reports are emerging that aerospace giant Boeing's production process has been crippled by malware utilizing exploits farmed by the United States NSA. According to local media reports the ransomware outbreak has crippled commercial airline production equipment and an effect on military products production is likely though unmentioned in the popular press (archived).

Europol Arrests Unnamed Man For Politely Persuading Eurobanks To Part With Cash

On Monday, March 26, armed thugs representing themselves as "Spanish National Police, with the support of Europol, the US FBI, the Romanian, Belarussian and Taiwanese authorities and private cyber security companies" arrested a yet-unnamed "mastermind" — who stands accused of causing "cumulative losses of over EUR 1 billion for the financial industry". And apparently this is not difficult:

"In all these attacks, a similar modus operandi was used. The criminals would send out to bank employees spear phishing emails with a malicious attachment impersonating legitimate companies. Once downloaded, the malicious software allowed the criminals to remotely control the victims’ infected machines, giving them access to the internal banking network and infecting the servers controlling the ATMs. This provided them with the knowledge they needed to cash out the money."

I.e. chair warmers were asked politely to install "Back Orifice" — and they (whether out of stupidity, or in exchange for a cut of the take — we are not told) obliged. As for MS-Windows, installed on bank infrastructure and in ATM boxes all over Europe: it, in turn, worked precisely as it was designed to work.

As of the time of this writing, the number of "bank employees" arrested in connection with their indispensable work in making this heist possible — stands at: zero. Likewise, the number of Microsoft executives held to answer for the very existence of "infectious attachments" as a concept — stands also at zero.1

The "mastermind" and his merry men also stand accused of Bernankeization without a license:

"Databases with account information were modified so bank accounts balance would be inflated, with money mules then being used to collect the money."

Magicking money into existence from thin air is, we learn, A-OK when carried out from a well-pedigreed bag of lard parked in an Aeron in New York — but not so much when it is done by non-bluebloods and on the wrong side of the Atlantic.

The accused, presently nameless — and held incommunicado — also stand to be punished for the unforgivable USG.crime of having "laundered via cryptocurrencies".


  1. On the other hand, the EU bureaucracy informs us that the "perpetrator" of this "crime" supposedly was "vacationing in Spain" — rather suspiciously similar to the previous three major USG.kidnapping-under-the-colour-of-law victims; evidently crafting a replacement cover story for USG thugs' free hand in lifting people straight from the streets of Bucharest & elsewhere, would overrun the budget?