Category Archives: Altcoins

Amazon To Pay 13.7 Billion US Dollars For Brick And Mortar Footprint

Posted on by

Today Jeff Bezos' Amazon announced that they would be acquiring the 450 store grocery chain "Whole Foods" in a move that would give the start up a brick and mortar footprint. Previous attempts by Amazon to grow their own brick and mortar presence have highlighted structural problems in the way Amazon grows when left to its own devices.

The 42 US dollar per share price is a 27% premium over Whole Food's closing share price of 33.06 US dollars yesterday. This aggressive move into the low margin grocery business comes as Jeff Bezos is seeking a public bailout over an earlier misadventures in the higher margin education business.

Failed State To Be Removed From Trade Partnership

Posted on by

The failed state of Illinois is set to be removed from the Multi-State Lottery Association at the end of this month over grave concerns about the the state's fiscal health. In the absence of a state budget and with the possibility of balancing any budget an impossibility in light of the state's tremendous pension burden. The total pile of unpaid bills currently due recently crossed 15 billion dollars with some creditors having greater success collecting than others. According to the Multi-State Lottery Association Illinois can avoid being ejected from their lottery treaty by passing a budget. This would compel Illinois residents to cross state lines to participate in the Powerball jackpot game. The state's insurgent GOP governor Bruce Rauner and the establishment Democrats dominating the legislature have been deadlocked since Rauner's inauguration over what kind of pain the next budget should inflict.

Fake News Tries To Bury Their Culpability For Inciting Violence By Alleging Fake Criminal Investigation

Posted on by

Following the fake news media and pant suit party's success yesterday in inciting a mentally unstable Belleville man to political violence, they tried to divert attention from their incitement. As a distraction they are alleging that elected US President Donald Trump is being investigated for the fake crime of "obstruction of justice".1

Meanwhile former FBI director and Special Counsel Robert Mueller has yet to recuse himself from investigating matters related to his protege and rumored lover James Comey. Recent polling of voters from "our democracy" shows strong support for prosecuting Comey over leaking information he alleges was gathered in his official capacity as an officer of the United States Government (archived).

  1. In the general case, this is a fake crime in the sense that the intersection of actual justice and activities undertaken by agents of the evil empire is nil. In this particular case, two parties to a private conversation are disputing a portion of the conversation's content. In the months since the disputed conversation there has been no sign of a dispute until one party was fired by the better party.  ↩

Leftist Terrorist From Belleville Attacks GOP Baseball Team

Posted on by

A leftist terrorist from Belleville, Illinois opened fire on the GOP congressional baseball team during a practice wounding five. The terrorist John Hodgkinson volunteered for the Bernie Sanders presidential campaign and appears to have been radicalized to violent action by the months long hate  spewed by the fake news media against elected US President Donald Trump and his agenda of summoning The Great Again.

This terrorist attack marks a substantial escalation of leftist violence in the current "cold" US civil war. Previously legislators from the GOP had merely been threatened with violence for their alignment with Donald Trump, but actual leftist violence was mostly restricted to attacks on their own institutions.

The terrorist's hometown of Belleville is a leftist stronghold and has been subject to a dramatic increase in violence over the past decade as guerillas from East Saint Louis have captured and settled substantial portions of the long blighted community. Hopefully the Trumpreich will consider all  options for solving the leftist problem in Belleville as they formulate a response to this escalation in violence.

Coblee And Coinbase Quit Each Other

Posted on by

Chucky Lee (WOT:coblee)), best known as the chief forking officer of Litecoin, has quit his position at Coinbase to focus on altcorn development. During his tenure at Coinbase, customers complained of frequent outages and degraded performance, events which often conveniently coincided with swings in US dollar price against the Bitcoin standard. Coinbase is alleged to value itself at an incredible Billion fiat dollars, and claims to have coerced 7.7 million customers into using the platform. The news of Lee's resignation comes on the heels of Coinbase/GDAX seeking $100 million US dollars in venture capital funding for further development, which users ought to hope1 will be used to make the site run for more than a week without crashing.

  1. likely in vain  ↩

Ethereum Blocks Way The Fuck Too Big: "Smart" Contract DDoS'ing Own "Initial Coin Offering" To Blame

Posted on by

The Bancor network, billed as a protocol for creating smart tokens using smart contracts on the Ethereum database was forced to alter the terms of its "initial coin offering" "due to massive malicious attacks on network & resulting pending transaction bottleneck". First thought by Ether huffers to be due to a bad actor attempting to prevent the "initial coin offering" from taking place, it was later discovered that transactions to the Bancor "smart" contract address itself was causing the DDoS attack on the network. During the course of the attack it was revealed that despite an advertised cap on the number of tokens proffered in the crowdsale, the contract owners could create new tokens at any time they liked at no additional cost. Despite the signs pointing to impending disaster and a possible repeat of history, the creators managed to capture over $150 million US dollars in the first 3 hours of the crowdsale.

"Reality Winner" Arrested For Leaking To Omidyar And Greenwald's Fake Qntra

Posted on by

Alleged NSA contractor Reality Winner (WOT:nonperson) has been arrested under the law James Comey refused to prosecute Hillary Rodham Clinton for, because zhe leaked to Omidyar's The Intercept. Shortly after Winner's leaked document was published by the Intercept, Winner was arrested. Yellow "anti-counterfeiting" dots from the printer where Winner produced the document were preserved in the the version published by The Intercept allowing Winner to be arrested with a clear chain of evidence preserved by the manner of publication.

When leaking please don't immediately turn around and leak back to the the enemy's own agents.

Fake News Media Celebrates Mayors' Seditionist Collaboration With Foreign Governments Undermining US Foreign Policy

Posted on by

Numerous fake news outlets are celebrating the decision by many mayors, dog catchers, and other local officials to undermine United States foreign policy by negotiating their way back into the Paris Climate Honda Accord in violation of the 1799 Logan Act. The Logan Act is one of many laws the elected Trump administration was spuriously accused of violating while they did the work of preparing to govern according to the wishes of the citizens that had elected them.

Tensions are clearly increasing in the US Cold Civil War with the Federal Government changing hands since the Oregon liberation began 18 months ago. It remains to be seen how far the rebellious mayors will take their foreign collaboration, and whether they might treasonously assist foreign "regime change" efforts initiated by Paris Honda Accord by signatories like the Democratic People's Republic of Korea and Angela Merkel presents The Weimar Republic.

US Branch Of Pantsuit Party Shunning Hillary Rodham-Clinton Amid Blame Trading

Posted on by

The Democratic National Committee, governing body of the United States division of the Pantsuit Party, has turned on Pantsuit namesake and 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton. This reversal comes as the Party committee has joined the myriad of non-Clitler entities Clitler is blaming for her electoral loss. During the run up to the election then candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton limited her personal involvement in campaign activities to 2-3 days per week and on several occasions took entire weeks off from the campaign trail in the stretch between the primary and general elections. Make Great, Great Again!

Trump Deals Blow To International Pantsuit Party With Withdrawal From Paris Accord

Posted on by

US President Donald Trump opened the month of June by taking the United States out of the Paris Honda "Climate" Accord. Absent from the wailing and protest over Trump's decision by the Pantsuit Party and their fake news organs has been any mention of specific terms of the accord being quit. Coverage has been limited to "oh noes, muh environment". Once again while Trump has moved the United States a smidge closer to The Great Again, The Most Serene Republic has already gone further.