The United States dollar has fallen to less than 1/3150 th of a Bitcoin in the wake of fiat interests' failure to gain any traction for their forked off altcoin. This a new all time low for the dollar on fiat centric fiat/BTC interfaces.
Category Archives: Africa
Pantsuit West Virginia Governor Defects To Join Trump
During a rally celebrating United States President Donald Trump in West Virginia, the state's governor Jim Justice announced he would be leaving the pantsuit party and joining Trump's political movement. This leaves Senator Joe Manchin the only pantsuit aligned politician holding a West Virginia wide political office, and his seat in the US Senate is up for election in 2018. Traditionally West Virginia has been a "blue" pantsuit aligned state.
Coinbase Begins Trading Vacation With "Your" Coins Early
Mtgox Coinbase employees have started their planned trading vacation this weekend instead of waiting for their intended start date of just before August 1st. Mtgox Coinbase has posted a cryptic status message stating that their withdrawals may be "delayed by up to 12+ hours" (archived). The notation "+" signifies an indefinite addition to the number that precedes it, and for this reason we are deeply Sorry For Your Loss.
California Has A Weed Problem
Acccording to the Los Angeles Times, growers in California's marijuana industry are producing eight to twelve times more product than is necessary to satisfy in state demand for that dank skunky shit.1) At the present KKKalifornia law allows for the possession of one ounce of marijuana per person in the state at any given time, but marijuana producers who have sought KKKalifornia state licensing will be banned from exporting any marijuana come January 1st 2018.
This is a great boon to "outlaw" producers with the foresight to avoid KKKalifornia's regulated market in spite of tremendous social engineering pressures arrayed to tempt them to surrender to the criminal KKKalifornian regime. Who could have forseen that a plant nicknamed "weed" would grow like one?
For typical usage patterns consider this piece. (archived ↩
Trump Makes Small Cut To Military Healthcare Spending And Makes Jeff Sessions Great Again
Today United States President Donald Trump captured headlines by making a rare medical condition a disqualifier for military service in the United States, as many other medical conditions already are. This relieves the Department of Defense from having to assume the substantial surgical and psychiatric care costs the US medical establishment has come to accept as standard for this condition. Various lamestream news outlets have offered different four and five figure numbers of currently serving military personnel standing to be affected by this policy change.
In other events, Trump has managed to make Attorney General Jeff Sessions great again. Following more minutia supposedly exposed in the Russian collusion witch hunt, Trump appears to have ceased conferring with his Attorney General in private and begun communicating suggestions to his top law enforcement official exclusively through the media. In less than one week Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has gone from the fake news industrial complex's whipping boy, a caricature of the "evil" Southern gentleman, to enjoying fawning fake news coverage as a beleaguered and sympathetic Southern gentleman.
Only muted coverage in the fake news media has been given to the fact that since this change in communications channels, Attorney General Sessions appears to have been faithfully pursuing every instruction delivered to him by President Trump. Where the fake news media is reading animosity between the two, reality seems to be showing a very strong, public1 working relationship. As a bonus, the new structure of this relationship is bound to complicate the ongoing "Russian collusion" fanfic being authored by Jeff Bezos' Amazon Washington Post.
A Quick FAQ About The Not Bitcoin fork "Bitcoin Cash"
Q: Is "Bitcoin Cash" Bitcoin?
A: No
Q: What does Roger Ver presents "Bitcoin.com"'s backing mean?
A: It's even more likely to fail in the vein of XTCoin, ClassicCoin, and Unlimited Spam Coin which were all Roger Ver-ified scams. The "Roger Ver-ified" endorsement is a leper's mark.
Q: But "Bitcoin Cash" futures appear to be trading very high? How could this be?
A: Wash trading. No one with any money that counts is sending it to the only malarial (falciparum) "exchange" trading such an instrument.
Q: Why did they use Wix.com to build a website?
A: Probably because their television viewing overlaps with the middle aged woman "small businessing" demographic that Wix.com advertises to. Also they pre-emptively hate their users.
Q: Are you sorry?
"Higher Education" Rag Excells At Misleading Headlines
"Inside Higher Ed", a media outlet working to advance the cultural marxist agenda in US "higher education", today published a piece with the headline:
This clickbait headline was attached to a piece on drama related to the president of North Dakota State College of Science, a minor young adult indoctrination camp. The subject of the piece, one of thousands of other "presidents" helming similar indoctrination camps, is in fact not the elected President of the United States Donald Trump for whom the title "President" without further qualification is customarily reserved.
The outlet which claims editorial and ownership independence frequently collaborates with organs of Jeff Bezos' Washington Post Company. The elastic in pantsuit runs deep.
Pokemon Go Creators Try To Spark New Interest In Spyware Fad With Event: Nostlgia Successfully Comes From Broken Gameplay
Niantic, developers of the game clad spyware Pokemon Go, held an event to celebrate the anniversary of their fad by holding a live event coordinating lusers in Chiraq's Union Square with other players around the world. Niantic went out of their way to provide nostalgia with an entire slew of new bugs and broken gameplay tied to the event which harkened back to the two weeks last summer in which the game had monopolized the general public's attention.1
Attendees at the Union Square portion of the event failed to nostalgiate as Niantic anticipated and instead threw tanrums. These thousands of presumed homo sapiens with a common interest failed to bond, celebrate, or find love among fellows with a shared passion for catching them all. Ever gracious, Niantic ended up making the event's prizes available and pretended not to notice their audience's failure to appreciate all of Niantic's effort towards recreating an authentic experience of the fad at its peak. According to reports, players attempting to acquire the two chicken like monsters offered as prizes for the event's "success" are frequently encountering still more nostalgia inducing bugs that make the prizes unobtainable by all but the most warped masochists.
The fad's most amazing accomplishment was the thoroughness of its fall into obscurity. Despite Hillary Rodham-Clinton trying to get pantsuit voters to "Pokemon Go to the polls", neither Hillary Rodham-Clinton nor the Democratic National Committee have attempted to scapegoat Pokemon Go for Trump's ascent to the Presidency. They have however tried blaming but this forgotten fad. ↩
Minneapolis Loses First Native American, Female, And Openly Gay Police Chiefs In Tripartite Resignation
Minneapolis lost its first native American, female, and openly gay police chiefs in the tripartite resignation of Janne Harteau. Harteau resigned from her diversity milestones following the shooting of blond Australian migrant Justine Damond by Somali born Minneapolis police officer Mohamed Noor. Noor was initiated into the Minneapolis police department through a "fast-track" training course (archived).
Swedish Railroad Consults Masses: Trainy McTrainface Results
Swedish rail operator MTR Express has resigned itself to naming a new train running the Stockholm to Gothenburg line "Trainy McTrainface" after it opened to the naming process to the masses, and the only possible outcome resulted. A variety of suggested names commemorating persons, culture, and events were ignored in favor of a name at intersection of plain description and peak anthropomorphism. Surely Trainy McTrainface was a very happy train after being told the result.