In a twist of irony surely not lost to Qntra readers, US president Hussein Bahamas now has the honor of a newly discovered parasitic flatworm named after him. The two-inch long parasite, dubbed "Baracktrema obamai" lives in turtles blood and was discovered by Thomas Platt, a retired biology professor at Saint Mary’s College in Indiana. Professor Platt assured the public that bestowing the name was not meant as an insult, but rather meant to honor the current president. However, Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a parasite as " something that resembles a biological parasite in dependence on something else for existence or support without making a useful or adequate return" which accurately describes the legacy left by Bahamas during his eight-year tenure.

According to a recent report by Michael Gibson-Light, doctoral student at the University of Arizona’s school of sociology, the ubiquitous Ramen noodle pack is fast replacing tobacco as the currency of choice amongst US prisoners. Gibson-Light conducted the study over the course of a year while conducting research for another project, and attributes the rise in value being due to substandard nutrition that inmates are now receiving due to budget cuts in prisons nationwide. Inmates often exchange the soup packs, which cost less than $1 in prison commissaries, for items of much higher value. In the prison where the study was conducted, one pack could fetch an inmate 5 handmade cigarettes worth approximately $2, and other assorted sundries were often valued in soup packs. Other inmates used ramen to pay for such services as laundry or cell-cleaning. Violence has been known to erupt over ramen bought on credit when the noodly debts went too long unpaid. Mr Gibson-Light concluded the study by stating that "The shift from tobacco to ramen highlights how dire the nutritional standards at prisons has become." Gresham's Law bitch! Sorry for your loss.