Actual Headlines Found On Mainstream "Fake News" Publications

The following headlines were found on mainstream 'Fake News' outlets:

  • "Woman complains Hobby Lobby’s raw cotton decor is racially insensitive "
  • "Toys R Us might file for bankruptcy right before everyone starts holiday shopping"
  • "St. Louis police investigate claim that officer called Black Lives Matter ‘domestic terrorists’"
  • "St. Louis seeks a new police chief; some chanting required"
  • "Armed LGBT student shot dead by Georgia police"
  • "Family Wants Answers After Georgia Tech Police Kill LGBTQ Campus Leader"
  • "Hundreds of Rohingya Villages in Flames"

Casino Robbed Amid Civil Disorder In St Louis

Three men armed with rifles robbed the cashier's cage at the Casino Queen in East Saint Louis, Illinois early Sunday morning1 while civil disorder continues on the other side of the river in Saint Louis, Missouri. One unarmed casino guard was shot, no patrons were injured, and no suspects have been arrested.

The casino is set to re-open at 8 am local time Monday.


  1. The Illinois State Police report ~2:50 am local time  

Illinois Government Places Unfunded Menstrual Mandate On Local Schools

The failed state of Illinois has passed a law mandating that local schools must now supply free "feminine hygiene products" in bathrooms beginning January 1st, 2018. Apparently none of the 32% personal income tax increase can be spared to fund this mandate, as the bulk of it is going to municipal pensions in Chicago rather than any sort of service.

Media And Clergy Orchestrated Civil Disorder Erupts In Downtown St Louis After Acquittal

Escalating civil disorder has gripped downtown Saint Louis after a former police officer was acquitted of murder in the December 2011 shooting death of Anthony Lamar Smith which followed a high speed chase. Interest the case was drummed up by the local Fake News media and activist clergy members aligned with Black Lives Matter following the outrage they were able to bake in Ferguson, Missouri. Many local businesses have released their employees evacuate the city while local schools have dismissed classes early in order to allow their students to serve as footsoldiers in the disorder of Pantsuit making.

The accused officer was acquitted in a bench trial where the Judge concurred with the initial investigation of the shooting, that the evidence to justify a murder conviction was not there.

At present masses of protesters have obstructed a number of surface streets. It is probable that police lines containing the protesters may be breeched breached in time to conveniently allow the protesters to obscure Interstate 64 and other freeways just in time for the evening commute. The dominant sentiment among locals questioned about their feeling on the emergent disorder is "Really, again?"

Pantsuit's Party Reacts To Pantsuit's Book By Capitulating To President Trump

Pantsuit's political party has reacted to the release of arch-pantsuit Hilary Rodham-Clinton's book by capitulating to the legitimacy of elected President Donald Trump's 8 year Reich. The text titled 'What Happened' presents numerous conspiracy theories while ignoring the actual determinant of her loss. This marks a substantial abandonment of their party's base by elected members of the now weakly Pantsuit aligned party. Trump is supplying ample ammunition for commie pinkos of various flavours to mount credible primary campaigns against establishment Pantsuits for their betrayal of their base in the rapidly approaching 2018 legislative election cycle.

Meanwhile after having been released from the restrictions of public employment, Presidential loyalist Steve Bannon is working hard on GOP primary campaigns to shape that party to the will of its elected President.

Civil Unrest Continues In Charleston: Leftist Culture Warriors Move Historical Revisionism Target To University Founder Thomas Jefferson

Following last month's violence in Charlottesville, Virginia at the hands of antifa terrorists another leftist group is escalating its nuisance presence. A group of neo-Maoist cultural revolutionaries advocating for an agenda authored by a group calling itself "the Black Student Alliance" but which the neo-Moaists calling themselves "the Black Student Alliance" insist was not actually them, vandalized a statute of third United States President and University of Virginia founder Thomas Jefferson.

The unnamed neo-Maoists <sarcasm>who surely weren't the named nao-Maoists</sarcasm> covered the statue in a black shroud and placed signs alleging the dead polymath is "racist" and "rapist" [sic]. Today's president of the university founded by Jefferson, a different kind of cultural Marxist calling itself Teresa A. Sullivan offered a number of utterances which included:

I strongly disagree with the protestors’ decision to cover the Jefferson statue. I also recognize the rights of those present at the protest to express their emotions and opinions regarding the recent horrific events that occurred on our Grounds and in Charlottesville…

however, he was also a slave owner… The University1 has acknowledged its controversial history and we continue to learn from it through open dialogue and civil discourse.

The yet another kind of Marxist Law Center intent on perpetuating Southern Poverty has failed to name "the Black Student Alliance" as a hate group.


  1. Once again founded by the memorialized man in question on his initiative  

Pantsuit Seattle Mayor Ed Murray Quits Amid Serial Child Fucking Scandal

Seattle mayor Ed Murray has quit his job after a fifth allegation that he had molested his way into the mayor's office through many a child emerged. This member of the coastal liberal elite's latest accuser is one of his own cousins. Don't let a socialist think of your children.

Another Trezor "Hardware Wallet" Default Flaw: Trezord.exe Phones Home

Reports are emerging that the developers of the Trezor "hardware wallet" designed their Microsoft Windows driver Trezord.exe to phone home each time it's started. While phoning home it further downloads files from Jeff Bezos presents Washington Post Amazon Web Services servers.

Edit: This behavior also occurs on other platforms when using Trezor's official driver.

Bitcoin Network Mining Difficulty Up ~3.9% To New All Time High

The mining difficulty on the Bitcoin network has risen ~3.9 percent to 922724699725.96276855 from 888171856257.32055664 for a new all time high. This is ever so slightly above the previous all time high of 923233068448.90527344 set in the first difficulty adjustment following the schism of a Roger Ver-ified altcoin away from the Blockchain. The continued efforts propping up the Roger Ver-ified chain is proving to be a very expensive proposition for the involved fiat interests.