Author Archives: Aaron 'BingoBoingo' Rogier

Memcached DDoS Attacks Lead To Record Breaking Levels Of Wank

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A recent wave of amplified DDoS attacks utilizing wrongly configured memcached servers has lead to unprecedented levels of wank among the self described "seekootity community" in recent days. The attacks work by sending spoofed UDP packets to the maliciously unsecured servers triggering the servers to respond by spewing data at the target destination.

The wank comes from an obvious solution which neuters the offending nuissance memcached installations. The memcached servers capable of being recruited into DDoS attacks are also vulnerable to being issued a "flush-all" command which will cause the server to register everything in its cache as expired. This denies an ongoing denial of service attack cached items to dump on a target (archived).

The wankers are naturally compelled to wank about the supposed ethics and inconveniences this obvious solution imposes on the dangerous idiots operating nuissance machines.

Nationalist Dissident Group Leadership Incarcerated In Britain

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Paul Golding and Jayda Fransen, leaders of the British Nationalist dissident group "Britain First" have been sentenced to spend 18 and 36 weeks respectively incarcerated for "anti-religious" hate crimes. The two were accused of spreading "hostility towards muslims" for bringing publicity to a "gang rape" trial. The kangaroo court further alleged the two engaged in abusive behavior towards circus bureacrats during their own trial.

Attendees Drugged At Brock Pierce Linked Event

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At a New York conference nominally about "cryptos" attendees reported being drugged en mass after consuming ambiguously labeled items from the menu that were infused with cannabis extracts (archived). The adventurous caterer allegedly went beyond the traditional drug infused desert items and managed to drug menu items as varied as hot sauce, cocktails, and olives while a DJ was spinning "electronic dance music" throughout the event. This appears to have been a very Amir Taaki effort on the part of the event's organizers.

Pantsuit Nashville Mayor Resigns While Admitting To Theft

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Earlier today Megan Barry ceased to be the mayor of Nashville, Tennessee. A former "rising star" of the pantsuit movement Barry resigned as Mayor after pleading guilty to theft charges. The nature of the theft charges were not disclosed in court. The plea however includes compensating Nashville for wages paid to cover the services of Barry's bodyguard Sgt. Robert Forrest1 with whom Barry engaged in frequent extramarital sex while Forrest was drawing regular and overtime pay from the city.

  1. Possible relationships to local populist folk hero Nathaniel Bedford Forrest are unknown  ↩

Public Bailout Of Bezos Bungle Continues In Indiana

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Regional accreditors have given approval to a plan which would allow Indiana's Purdue University, a public institution, to bail out Jeff Bezos' expensive education bungle "Kaplan University" in a deal which delivers the Bezos venture relief from the costs of operating the school. The Bezos venture will still be involved after selling the money sink to Purdue for a nominal sum. Kaplan is positioned to receive an unknown amount of ongoing income for delivering "marketing" and ancilliary "services" to Purdue.

Italian Election Results Raise Possibility of #Italeave Coalition Government

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Voters in Italy went big for anti European Union parties in the country's election over this past weekend. The 5 Star Movement won just under one third of the vote leaving it with a plurality of the parlimentary seats to be allocated. The traditional leftist pantsuit Democratic party managed less than 19 percent of the vote leaving it likely to be shut out of the upcoming effort to build a government. Two generally right wing parties by Italian standards Lega and Forza Italia won 17.7 and 13.9 percent of the vote. Make Italy, Great Again!

Mining Rig Heist In Iceland: Arrests Made But No Material Recovered

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Reports are emerging that allege 600 Bitcoin mining rigs and other supporting materials were stolen from a data center in Iceland between December 2017 and January 2018 (archived). No materials have been recovered and out of 11 arrests related to the investigation, local police are only keeping two suspects in custody.

Favorable electricity prices in Iceland have set the island up to be one of the first regions where power consumption for Bitcoin mining exceeds power consumption for other purposes.

Dublin Looters Destroy Grocery Store

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lidlLooters in Dublin, Ireland appropriated a piece of construction equipment and removed structural material from a Lidl grocery store to achieve ingress and egress from the premises (archived). Reports out of Ireland and Airstrip One suggest a state of chaos amid routine winter weather self declared local authorities are apparently no longer capable of handling.

Attacks In Ouagadougou Hit French Embassy And Other Sites

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Today in Ouagadougou militants launched a coordinated series of attacks. They detonated vehicle mounted explosives in the parking lot of a local military headquarters, and assaulted the French Embassy1 and other sites in this capital city of Burkina Faso. Due to the city's isolation from civilization, it is unlikely accurate accounts of the day's events will become available.

  1. According to popular reports the detachment assaulting the French Embassy lit their own truck on fire. (archived)  ↩