Author Archives: Aaron 'BingoBoingo' Rogier

Bitfinex Pays Protection Money To US CFTC

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The United States Commodity and Futures Trading Commission announced that it has secured $75,000 in protection money from shambling forum scam Bitfinex. The pretext behind this payment is that Bitfinex participated in a sort of transaction the CFTC frowns upon implying its other business at this time has the tacit approval of this organ of the criminal gang in Washington, DC. In the past the CFTC has repeatedly tried to insist it has a place in Bitcoin in spite of all actual evidence to the contrary.1

  1. This evidence includes asserting its will over Bitfinex, the shambling forum scam that succeeded Mt Gox and Bitstamp as the shambling forum scam of choice as its predecessors have withered. Bitfinex will likely be succeeded in this role as well, but the next shambling forum scam to takes its place has yet to be determined.  ↩

Death Rate Rises In United States, Officials Puzzled

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News outlets are reporting the death rate in the United States is rising and that officials representing the criminal gang in Washinton, DC are publicly stating that they are puzzled by this development. You on the other hand don't have to be puzzled. The transmayo gender identity leads only to early death and diabetic limb amputations. Peace in our time.

Spread Between Chinese And Other Exchanges Settles With Dollar Lower Against Bitcoin

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The recent spread event between Chinese and other fiat/Bitcoin interfaces which took the price of the United States dollar to nearly a two year low versus Bitcoin has settled with the interfaces reporting roughly a hundred more United States dollars required to acquire a Bitcoin than it did one week ago. Up until this latest Chinese run the number of dollars required to get a Bitcoin had been remarkably stable in the 400s ever since they were remarkably stable in the 200s. Forecasts place the next subsidy halving just 39 days into the future which is likely to place further financial strain on the mining sector. As always Qntra recommends HODL as the best course of action for your psychological, spiritual, and financial well being. Sorry for your loss, but this halving train is a coming round the bend.

Forbes Revises Theranos CEO's Estimated Wealth To Near Zero

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Forbes Magazine has revised their estimate of Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes's (WOT:nonperson) net worth from 4.5 Billion United States dollars to nearly zero. Back in October Qntra reported on the likely at the time impending collapse of the healthcare startup which attracted investment from well connected figures in the criminal gang purporting to govern the United States from Washington, DC including Henry Kissinger (WOT:nonperson) and former Senate majority leader Bill Frist, MD (WOT:nonperson). United States Marine Corps General James Mattis (WOT:nonperson) even ended up on the Board of Theranos after intervening to protect a relationship between the firm and the United States military. Between October and today the firm once valued at 9 billion United States dollars generated much noise as the reliable rumours that their product's inaccuracy rendered it worthless were confirmed. On the way to building a 9 billion United States dollar valuation, the product simply never worked in spite of numerous fraudulent misrepresentations that it did. Sorry for your loss.

Microsoft, Google, And Facebook Partner With EU On Censorship Effort

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"Law Enforcement" agencies in the European Union have entered into an agreement with Microsoft, Google, and Facebook to streamline their censorship processes together. The agreement is being referred to publicly as a "code of conduct" though it appears to be more akin to the also somewhat misleadingly named legal construction commonly referred to as a "consent" decree. Under the guise of combating illegal "hate" speech the companies have been pledged to censor material on their platforms determined to be "hate" speech within 24 hours. The European Commision has bound these countries to follow these guidelines singularly throughout the European Union with out any variance to accommodate local cultural norms.

Former Governors Johnson And Weld Compose US Libertarian Party Ticket

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At the United States Libertarian party convention in Orlando, Florida former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) and former Massachusetts governor William Weld (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) secured the party's presidential and vice presidential nominations. Johnson and Weld both served as two term governors in their respective states easily winning during their re-election campaigns. This gives them both greater executive experience in government than Major Socialist party likely nominee Hilary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) or Minor Socialist party presumptive nominee Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) possesses. In national polls against Hilary Rodham-Clinton and Donald Trump-Clinton Johnson manages to consistently draw ten percent of likely voters to his ticket.

As promising as this development is it only reduces the near certainty that the next United States president will be a Clinton by the smallest of margins. Notable candidates present at the Libertarian Party convention who Johnson defeated include Vermin Supreme (WOT:unknown/undisclosed), John McAfee (WOT:nonperson), Austin Petersen (WOT:unknown/undisclosed), and Darryl Perry (WOT:unknown/undisclosed).

Self Propagating Ransomware Arrives

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Microsoft is raising the alarm on the latest threat it opened its customers to: Zcryptor, a new ransomware product with self propagation features. Zcryptor is capable of deploying itself to shared network drives and portable storage devices accessible from an infected machine. Zcryptor also allows infected machines to be used as part of a DDoS gang for additional monetization opportunities. Once again ransomware seems to be leading other accessory industries surrounding Bitcoin in product improvement.

Forced Outrage Over Ohio Gorilla Shooting

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USistani news outlets have been constipated this weekend trying to pass a steaming pile of forced outrage upon the American populace. At the center of this effort is the shooting of a 400 pound male gorilla that was roughly dragging a toddler through the moat of its enclosure. In order to protect the life of the toddler and to protect themselves from torts of all kinds, zoo keepers in this incident immediately used lethal force against the silverback Harambe (WOT:nonperson). Now all manner of media in the United States is reporting the story alongside substantial supposing that the situation might have been handled in some way that lead to an outcome other than Harambe's death.

Harambe's legacy of failing to drown a human child is vastly eclipsed by the accomplishments of cetacean freedom fighter Tilikum who managed to bludgeon to death and drown 3 grown adults homo sapiens trained to oppress him during his ongoing captivity at various "amusement" parks. Tilikum rather than being shot for committing homicide instead was rewarded with the opportunity to sire 21 children through his captivity with the enthusiastic assistance of his captors. Apparently in the warped value system unloaded onto the American people whale lives matter more than those of apes and mens. Sorry for your loss. Peace in Our Time.

Cooling Pacific Has Potential To Further Injure Corn Belt's Fortunes This Season

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As El Nino breaks in the Pacific it is set to be followed by a cooling of waters in the Pacific in a meteorological phenomenon known as La Nina. For the American Corn Belt this shift bring the potential for still further pain in a season which already has farmers scrambling in loss control mode. Depending on the degree of cooling in the Pacific the La Nina phenomenon may have a range of effects on the temperature and wind speed1  in the Middle West, but summertime La Nina events reduce reduce rainfall in a region where irrigated fields are the exception rather than the rule. A drought event in 2012 absolutely decimated crop yields due to the region's dependence on rainfall to water crops.

While a season of failed crops could otherwise get farmers to finally deliver their glut of stored grains waiting for more favorable prices to market, the more likely scenario is a continued increase in imports of staple and fodder crops. Thanks to "progress" the problem of endemic2 obesity is likely to continue to grow.

  1. Yes, La Nina has ways of making Iowa in particular suffer exceptionally.  ↩

  2. The reality that this problem is here to stay precludes referring to it as an epidemic. Epidemics pass.  ↩