Author Archives: Aaron 'BingoBoingo' Rogier

Hastert Fights Suit Over Unpaid Hush Money

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After being inducted and convicted over his efforts to pay hush money, serial child molester and former Speaker of the United States House of Representatives Dennis Hastert (WOT:nonperson) is fighting a lawsuit over hush money he failed to pay. Hastert, a former locker room predator who imposed his sexual will on aspiring grapplers before enjoying a national political career, is being sued for breach of contract over 1.8 million United States dollars he failed to deliver.

The suit alleges Hastert managed to make 1.7 million United States dollars out of a promised 3.5 million before FBI agents spooked the old coach into ceasing his cash withdrawals. Hastert's attorneys allege the aspiring grappler who had received coach's locker room attention violated the contract first when he told the FBI about the former Speaker of the United States House of Representative's coaching methods. The former Speaker's attorney also argues that the suit was filed after the statute of limitations.

Corn Pain On Farm Plain Continues

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While corn futures fell precipitously today with this years crop losing 10 billion United States dollars on paper, there were more reasons for pain in the plains. Wheat hit a nine year low reaching 4.36 United States dollars per bushel.1 Wheat plantings were estimated by the USDA to only measure 50.8 million acres, a 50 year low. Meanwhile the acreage of corn plantings surpassed early season estimates coming in around 94.1 million acres2 which projects to a potential 194 million more bushels3 of corn this year than markets were expecting.

The drought typical of the Middle West in La Nina years never materialized in spite of a dry spell from late May to early June teasing the possibility.

Soybean plantings appear to be lower than the USDA and the market expected, likely the result of reasons relating to competition obvious to farmers. The cherry on top of all this pain is that domestic use of all crops for livestock feed is continuing to fall and expected to continue to fall as imports continue their rise. Sorry for your loss.

  1. For out less agriculturally inclined readers a bushel used to be a measure of volume equivalent to eight gallons. Now markets measure weight which varies by crop and moisture content. A market bushel of wheat is 60 pounds at a 13.5% moisture content. Or in the only metric that matters ~92,000 kilocalories.   ↩

  2. Up 550,000 over the March estimate.  ↩

  3. 56 pound at a 15.5% moisture content for ~139,00 kilocalories per bushel.  ↩

On Eve Of National Convention Democratic Party Ousts Chair

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On top of all the other lulz happening with the United States major socialist party on the eve of their national convention, the Democratic party has ousted chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz (WOT:nonperson) from both her office as chairwoman and from the convention. News of her ouster comes on the same day she announced her intention to resign the office of chairwoman after the convention. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is also the congressional representative from Florida's 23rd district and faces a primary challenge on August 30th.

While the adversarial takeover and slaughter of the traditional GOP has left Donald Trump-Clinton a commanding position in the presidential race, the long planned coronation of Hillary Rodham-Clinton appears to be bringing still greater destruction to her party. Both socialist parties are grievously wounded, but Hillary's campaign has largely depended on the strength of the Democratic party to carry her. By contrast Donald's campaign gutted the Republican party and with his nomination secured he gets to ride the party's remains with his existing campaign infrastructure to the November general election.

Peace in our time.

On Eve Of Convention Democrats Rewriting History Of Their Party

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Breitbart brings us news that Minnesota congressman Keith Ellison (WOT:nonperson) tried to rewrite the history of his party, the one set to coronate Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) as their nominee (archived). Ellison tried to declare that former four term Alabama governor, proud segregationist, and even prouder Democrat the late George Wallace was actually a Republican. In 1972 Wallace was the favored candidate to win the Democratic nomination for the presidency until he was shot five times. His campaign ended soon after the shooting. Ongoing concerns about Wallace's health enabled Carter to defeat Wallace in the 1976 primary  paving the way for Reagan convert a substantial portion of the Democratic party's base over to the minor socialist party during the 1980's. It turns out Ether huffers aren't the only people upset with the immutability of history.

I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.

– 1972's long time frontrunner for the nomination in Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama's party

France And Germany Bond Over Mass Killings

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Following a solo shopping mall putsch in Munich, Germany and France have decided to strengthen ties and increase their security cooperation. While the alleged mall shooter in Germany fits the traditional American profile of the angry white aspie spree killer, France has become a raging front in the war between ISIS/ISIL/Daesh and the west.

The reignited bromantic passion between the French and Germans comes as Britain decided to leave the European Union. It is uncertain how much violence it would take to strengthen the bonds between European Union remainers in order to head off Departugal, Italeave, et al.

Oklahomo Police Sniper Kills Child's Dog

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A police sniper in Wynnewood Oklahoma killed Opie, a five year old child's dog, through the cover provided by a fence (archived). At the time Opie was shot he was attending his master's birthday party when police decided to execute a warrant against a suspect who had last resided in the residence hosting the party a decade ago. Wynnewood Police Chief Ken Moore (WOT:nonperson) defended the sniper's use of force saying the officer was unaware of Opie's presence and Opie had "charged at him" while on the other side of the fence. The war criminal Moore further defended raiding a rental property that had cycled through tenants numerous times in the decade since the suspect last resided there by offering "we had to start somewhere."

Having recieve numerous death threats motivated by Opie's murder Moore offered that the department, in light of recent events was very concerned.

Oklahoma is a testbed for "law enforcement" oppression tactics which are often later exported to other parts of the United States. Peace in our time.

Major Socialist Party Emails Free In Time For Convention

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Hacked emails from the Democratic National Committee are circulating freely in full unredacted glory just in time for Hillary Rodham-Clinton's cornation at the Democratic National Convention. Particularly juicy nuggets include full names, social security numbers, and credit card numbers of donors along with petty bickering. Notable bickering includes an email chain that determined the Obamas would be forbidden to book a performance at the White House from  petite pop singer Ariana Grande because she triggered a bunch of transmayos1 by licking a tray of donuts.

Meanwhile the Republican National Convention proceeded smoothly. On the first day an effort to allow delegates to vote ballots other than Donald Trump-Clinton was quashed. This was followed by Ted Cruz's refusal to endorse Donald Trump-Clinton which served as a unifying catalyst for the party. The convention closed with a speech by Donald Trump-Clinton which was insufficiently dark2 concerning the bleak prospects for the United States.

The cherry on top of the upcoming Democratic National Convention lulz is  Rodham-Clinton's selection of the socially conservative abortion hating Tim Kaine as zher running mate. In addition to criticism of Kaine's selection for supporting the Republican Party's platform on many social issues Kaine is drawing substantial criticism for being a bad sports fan pledging allegiance to the University of Kansas Jayhawks while being a graduate of Mizzou. Sorry for your loss.

  1. One of the party's major electoral demographics  ↩

  2. Naturally mainstream press criticized the speech for being "too dark" and gloomy.  ↩

Trendon Shavers Sentenced

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A court in the United States sentenced Trendon Shavers (WOT:pirateat40) to:

  • 18 Months In Prison
  • $100 Special Assessment
  • 1,200,000 United States dollar forfeiture
  • 1,200,000 United States dollar "restitution"

Trendon Shavers plead guilty to charges of securities fraud back in October 2015.

Trendon was initially indicted by MPOE-PR (WOT:hanbot) on April 17th, 2012 (archived).

"Crypto Coin Wallet Card" Physical Bitcoins Were A Scam

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A reddit user discovered that when he recently went to claim the balance from a "Crypto Coin Wallet Card" physical Bitcoin product the balance had already been spent (archived). If you happen to have any sort of physical Bitcoin the best time to recover the balance from the private key is well before the person who generated that key inevitably gives in to the temptation to spend the balance themselves. Sorry for your loss.